This does not work in this city. Was out with boyfriend and best girl friend last week, sitting at a table at a busy bar. She and I were holding hands. We were approached by drunk dude who would not go away even after I said, “Please go the fuck away.”

Didn’t even occur to me until reading Sport’s comment above that boyfriend could have said, “Hey, pal, she obviously doesn’t want to talk to you.” Hmph. He will in the future!

Someday my wish to be left alone and not have my physical appearance generate unwanted commentary will be respected as a right, right?

Going out in baggy sweats becomes more and more appealing the older and crankier I get!

Thanks for post and opportunity to comment.

It can only help the cause of “a sane world where no-one is a predator” if more men learn of this sad calculation women have to make as they go about their lives.

I just don’t hold out any hope of it changing any time soon. Some people are predatory, it is a fault in the animal. As Janette says, it is a fact, we live in an imperfect world.
Maybe one way it will help is making more men thoughtful or more likely to reign in their friends?. I can think of a few occasions in the past where I have not said something to acquaintances who were pestering a woman.

I wonder if it would help in most situations, a passing man pointing out the obvious “Hey, pal, she obviously doesn’t want to talk to you” or would it act as a trigger such as you said you deliberately avoid on your own?.

I said “I DONT want to TALK to you. GO AWAY” quite rudely which apparently made him want to kiss my cheek.

“NO TOUCHING” brought me from multiple guys “you are going to be a bad mom”, and “who are you?! who do you think you are?” “are you a germaphobe?”

Finally I pulled one guys hood over his head and cinched the drawstring so the opening was the size of a quarter. Still, he persisted. Two guy friends came to my aid which was SO frustrating because I felt like that was the only solution!! WTF is wrong with people! Don’t make me be a bitch!

Then I walked alone to my car, thinking about all the guys that forced me to be outright rude to them, and if they might be pissed enough to follow. Ugh.

What you said about fear of provoking them, this is my issue right here. I get approached a lot by random men when I’m by myself (London is full of creeps) and my first problem is, how do I tell them to go away without getting into an discussion about, “why don’t you like me”, “what is my problem, is it because you have a boyfriend” or an extended conversation in which they’re trying harder. I remember once I was sitting on a step at a train station, quite late at night, and a bloke comes up to ask if I’m ok. I told him “Sure, I’m just waiting for someone”. He kept talking. The clear point here was that I was waiting for someone that wasn’t him. I don’t understand why people completely MISS these hints or gloss over them like they’re irrelevant.

I’ve noticed that people aren’t asking for my number as much as they used, but more my Facebook. It seems like Internet communication is an easier bet for gaining some sort of access to people. I can understand the logic behind this, but I’m unsure of why they think women would be more ok with it. I guess that’s another story though. Sorry for the novel! Loved the link x