So, I set foot in a salon yesterday for the first time in fifteen years. I don’t know what finally possessed me to do it. I guess I finally got tired of giving myself the same three haircuts. And for the first time ever, I have sucessful bangs.
I like it, but I don’t think anyone else does. Everyone I have seen hasn’t said anything, I have had to say something. Not a good sign. My sister was pointedly terse about the whole thing. I had to prod her for her opinion, which is on the list of Things Not To Do.
Me: “Well?”
Morgan: “Your bangs look, um, European.”
Me: “What does that mean?”
“They kind of go ‘woosh’ off to the side.”
I have Eurobangs? It’s a good thing she didn’t say French, because then I would have to have Freedom Bangs.
Yes, I am obviously not trying to think about war, too. Or that poor girl who got sawed in half. Or how exhausting it will be attempting to move to Canada or Australia. Tbbbpppt.
“I’ve searched the world over for my angel in black / I’ve searched the world over for my eurobang girl.” Isn’t that how the song goes?
Uh. Call me severely in the dark, but who the HELL got SAWED IN HALF??? Holy crap, I miss the news for a couple of days, and people go psycho on me!
Is that what was happening today? I was walking around thinking: Everyone is acting so normal….Are they all just trying not to think about it? Pretending not to think about it? Or freaking out and just hiding it?
I was falling asleep in my after work nap and as I was half asleep I said to my husband: A girl got run over by a bulldozer. He said: “Are you watching the news on your eyelids or something?”
So, yeah.
I know the ‘silence following haircut’ experience. It can be that those who love us want us to look the same all the time. That’s how I interpret it. When I cut off my butt-length hair my family was so upset–they actually told me they weren’t sure I was as pretty!– but then everyone was always carding me and hitting on me. Plus, I told them I didn’t need to be pretty anymore–I needed to look smart.
So don’t pay no attention.
Cut in half? That’s so cool! Uhm, tragic. If I hadta go, then I would like to go spectacularly like that.
I like your bangs, Miss SJ. I think you look even prettier with them. What you’re wearing is nice too, but you’ve got a bit of crud on your cheek there. Much better.
I’m going to find an island we can all go live on. I’ll tell you where it is if you promise to not tell too many people. Only good people with euro-bangs.
Well, Oz is sending troops and Canada isn’t (or isn’t for now), so your next move is clear….
what does the haircut look like, exactly?
i’m curious….
Well, before: past my shoulders. Pink, with black on the underside that could only be seen if it was braided or up. Sort of lumpy and wild-animally, because my hair is so massive. Early 90s, I guess. It had that heavy quality.
Now: Trendy. Tee hee. A couple inches off the bottom, but still past my shoulders. Radical, art-school reject layers–you can see the black now. Rocker hair. It all culminates in bangs that will help hide my problems with winking at everyone lately: bouncers, bankers, baristas, myself in the mirror. Woo!
“No tip for you, Buster, but here’s a wink.”
I should make my digital camera-friend snap me. I will do it tomorrow. You will snap me, won’t you, Manuel?
Now I’m imagining the haircut as some kind of “Gem And The Holograms” thing. Showtime Synergy!
That was totally my inspiration! Ooh, I’ve been outed!
I’m SO SORRY that I didn’t say anything the other night at dinner. I was pretty hung and depressed all day, and so I wasn’t sure if you had really cut them, or it was just me, but I must say that I LOVE your hair! I think it looks fabulous!
Would you still like to play beauty parlor this week and re-black the underneath? I’d love to play with styling, too.
Maybe Switzerland will let us claim Political Asylum. Can we do that? After all, our country IS being run by a psychopath that nobody elected….
WORD. To everything!
come to australia baby, and we’ll bang for freedom!
:)