I scrubbed my kitchen counters today for the first time in months. And I mean, scrubbed. I always clean up after meals and wipe around my utensil jar and shit when it gets messy, but I have not removed everything from the counter, dusted and scrubbed those objects, and then scrubbed in the cracks for eons.
I cleaned up my window sill, which was dusty and covered in litter from my shamrock and the bugs that my kitchen spider is kind enough to kill for me. In a couple of weeks when the vinegar flies are completely gone, I imagine I’ll be cleaning up her, too. I got up all the faint wine and tomato sauce rings that soak into the crappy Formica and the metal streaks from opening cans on the counter that only Comet seems to remove. I like the cold season sometimes because I can rest assured knowing that I won’t find a fly in my salt pig, at least.
It was long overdue. Regular readers probably know that my kitchen gets some heavy-ass use, and this would probably be a food blog if those were invented in 2001. *waves cane*
I was thinking today as I scrubbed of all the hours I have spent cleaning rental houses, and all the rentals I have spent cleaning in my life. It’s kind of a bummer but not disconcerting to me to see the edges crumbling like it was in the brief period I was an owner. And this house is crumbling. The people who built the townhouses across the street helpfully told me that it’s leaning. I know. I know that every time I spill something and it rolls into the corner. They built the driveway next to the foundation. Interestingly, the neighbor’s unit leans even more than ours. Sometimes I lay in bed and worry that at two a.m. someday I will hear a horrible cracking noise and this duplex will become an in-twoplex.
I used to think that I had to own a house to raise children in or I was doing it wrong, but I realized today I have let that notion go. It’s okay that I gave birth in a rental in Shoreline, and that I almost had my second daughter in a nasty apartment on Aurora. The children are still here. It’s not about the place.
Also I am thinking of when I houseshared with my mother in my early twenties and I cleaned the kitchen on a regular basis, scrubbing corners and cracks and getting grease off her canisters. One day she asked me a question out of exasperation that made me think of the old ad with the kid who’s doing drugs and his dad says how did you learn to do this? It haunted my Saturday mornings. That dad was a DRUGGIE. Then I found out that everyone’s parents were doing drugs.
She asked me, “Why do you clean like this? It’s obsessive.”
“One of the guys taught me how to do this,” I said.
“I don’t believe you.”
“But–”
“Who taught you how to clean like this?”
“I learned it from watching YOU, okay? I learned it from WATCHING YOU.”
I never understood doing drugs either in front of your kids or with your kids fer chrissakes. My ex on the other hand had no qualms about selling them to our oldest when he lived with him. I am committed to dancing naked and taking a piss on his grave when he dies.
I remember being FREAKED OUT CAPS LOCK by that PSA also. It was utterly incomprehensible to me that a parent would smoke the pot. Hee hee little did I know, and that’s what was so scary.
I am cleaning my ass off this weekend also. If I don’t do it…blah blah blah nobody will. Oh well, I still found time to read your blahhg.
What’s with having a go at the person scrubbing your kitchen? Now that’s wierd behaviour.
I’m really blown away by how intelligent you are.
You certainly do not have to own a house to raise kids. The kids need love and attention which are two things you seem to be giving your kids just fine.
xoxoxo
Renee
Move to Wyoming and houseshare my rental! You can teach me how to clean obsessively and we could cook up some amazing antelope fajitas. I have a yard suitable for kid-ranching.
I wish. I just found some moss on my leg yesterday. Damn sunless hellbog.
Yeah, did the gub’mint put Ajax in the water this weekend or something? I went all apeshit Rambo on my canisters and counters this weekend too. WTF. I am like the antithesis of Suzie Homemaker, but like, sometimes I think I clean to try to ward off the depression. Like, maybe I can clean out my brain by cleaning off the countertops? Maybe I will feel all bright and shiny if my floors are, too? Maybe it is the goddamn daylight savings time bullshit. Or maybe I just couldn’t stand the filth anymore.
I applied for cooking college this week. I can’t find a job, so fuck it. Might as well take out some loans and stop trying to force my round peg self into square office holes.
xoxoxoox Come to cooking college with me. It’s community college, I’m already preparing my valedictorian speech. Plus, you are way more gourmet than my kraft-kitchen ass.
I am enjoying that people are now trying to reroute my life for me. That is not sarcasm. Who’s got the beach house in Mexico, because I will accept that offer!
I have thought about culinary school, honestly, and I think school is a really good idea right now. I think when I open my B&B people are just going to have to deal with my non-certified ass making them eggs and such.
I hear ya sister. It is so not about the place. We had our sprog in a mighty squalid place and she was so happy because we were always THERE…not enough rooms to be anywhere else.
So the house thing is oversold.
I hope you aren’t depressed but I do like the title.
I’m enjoying your tags for your posts heh :)
Ok, fuck that college noise, let’s go to the beach in mexico and get drunk and eat tacos!! I do so love tacos. And teh booze.
I am not depressed anymore. Yahooey!
Also, once I realized the power of exploiting the tags…YESSSS. Excellent.
ACK! I’m so excited you posted that PSA! My dad and I quote that ALL THE TIME and I always wonder how many people get it since it’s so old.
You made my day!
You gotta be that right age for it. I was 10 in ’87 when it was shown constantly. That’s so awesome that you and your dad joke about it.
I had totally forgotten about that one. Thanks for the memories!
If you started a food blog, I would totally read it… AND link to it from my food blog. lulz. Not that doing two blogs already isn’t enough. ;)