I had a driveby flaming on my old youtube videos today. Someone threatened to expose me (dun dun dun, etc.) and called my kid a bitch. Gotta love the internets. I checked him out to see what level of nuttiness I was dealing with (nutty level: orange, don tinfoil hat immediately). I was going to just say “meh” and click away when I noticed his atrocious grammar. Free of charge, I magnanimously offer some tips to user “Madradicalmad.”

I would have replied directly on your YouTube, MRM (can I call you MRM?) but you appear to have flamed me and then blocked me. The subject of this missive is not online troll etiquette, so I will let that one go.

Here is your current profile, and what follows is my proposed changes.

I report! Many times Subjects the no one will Dare touch! I do not LIE, and will not Post any Video that is not True…
Name: Rad
Age: 48
I Love You Tube!
But there are Problems here, and I want to help others! Not to be rude to You Tube, or to others, but to help them see the Problem and Fix-it Quickly!
City: Dallas, Texas
Hometown: Hingham, Massachusetts
Country: United States
Occupation: Reporter
Schools: Boston College
Interests and Hobbies: Helping to make the World a little Safer
Movies and Shows: You Tube’s Videos
Music: You Tube’s Vast collection of Music
Books: You Tube for Dummies

Alright, let’s do this thing. My advice is as follows:

1. Generally, we don’t capitalize nouns in the middle of a sentence. As an example, you wrote, “Many times Subjects the no one will Dare touch!” I would only capitalize “many” in that sentence. If you are looking for emphasis, may I recommend italics or my friend FUCK YEAH CAPSLOCK. You can use capslock for effect judiciously and still look post-alphabetic on the internet. In conclusion, I do not recommend capitalizing mid-sentence unless you are aping Chuck Palahniuk or someone from the eighteenth century, in which case May God Have Mercy On Your Soul.

2. As a reporter, you may be used to working with an editor. But, now that the paradigm has shifted and many of us are self-publishing on the internet, we must carefully self-edit. I find typos all the time that certainly, Word will not catch. Again, I use the above example: “Many times Subjects the no one will Dare touch!” Putting it candidly, this is not even coherent English. It is Also a Fragment! Darn it, MRM, now you’ve got me doing it.

3. I will turn to content for a moment and talk about your goals, or, dare I say, your manifesto. It might help people understand what you are trying to do if you clarify your goals somewhat. What problems on YouTube are you addressing exactly? What do you hope to accomplish? What help are you offering people? I digress into the subject of professionalism and personal ethics, but I would be surprised if your technique of threatening people on the internet with your journalistic superpowers falls under the SPJ’s Code of Ethics. Just saying.

4. YouTube is one word.

Have a nice day, YHBT properly.