Ah Spring

Ah, yes, spring, I remember that. Misty showers. Me telling people to shut up less. Me squirrelly.

Misty Showers….what a great porno name. I’ll have to remember that one.

Anyway, VERY unhappy because it is one of Ye Olde Twelve-Hour School Days.

However, VERY HAPPY because it is also my seventh wedding anniversary. We are going out of town this weekend.

In Other News

This weekend being Easter and all, I learned a new Martha Skill. On Sunday night I went downstairs for, like, two minutes, and when I came up the girl was busting up one of the freakishly oversized Frankeneggs that my mom helped her dye that day. “Extra large” really shouldn’t mean the size of an orange. Stupid better living through chemistry!

So there was stanky hard-boiled egg all over my sexy red carpet and Mr. Husband sat obliviously on the couch above her, zoning out on the baseball game.

“Hey! Mr. Husband! Look what the baby’s doing!” I shouted.

He sat up, and said what he always says.

“Wow! I…I didn’t notice. I had no idea, even though I am sitting six inches away from the scene of the crime.”

He picked up the large pieces, and I used every ounce of my willpower to not scrub it all up. I figured that would make it worse. So we roped off the area and ignored it, which is super hard when your whole upstairs smells like stanky Frankeneggs.

The next morning, I got up and the mess was all dried, and it sucked up in the vacuum so easily. Martha would be proud. Horrified, yet proud. If it happened to her, she’d probably just spend the night in a different house or something.

10 thoughts on “Ah Spring

  1. wow! real eggs! I thought everyone used those plastic eggs filled with candy. Hope your little one found all the eggs, they start to stink if left in the yard for a few days!

  2. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, MY SWEET!!!!
    I must say, I am very, very proud. I know that I couldn’t have waited, and would’ve made it worse. Not to mention that if I did wait, little demons would’ve rubbed it into the carpet, walls, cats, chickens, etc. No roping off areas in our house – I would’ve had to use the rope on the girls!! Haw!
    I want to see pictures up in the blog of Mr. Husband’s new “SJ” tattoo! Please?

  3. New tattoo…hmm. What we got instead was new ball joints for the Jetta. Poop. Next week it is, I guess.

  4. … you didn’t use the word “dumbass” to get his attention , AND you walked away until the next morning… this post is making me look bad at home!

  5. I love porn star names. mine is “Ramona Quim”. Or was it “Henrietta Pussy”?

    Also noticed recently that the manager of my local grocery store, a genial type of dude with a big mustache, is named “Randy Rose”. A great porn star name for either gender and even better name for a strip club…. I kind of want to go up to him and make fun of his name, but continue restraining myself. Surely he’s heard it before.

  6. Thanks to you and the help of all of my other friends (they all have spawned fruit of their loins and stuff), I am never having children.

    The world will be a better place.

  7. really, where in hade’s am I. Unghhh, this ewas fun reading, but I’ve got to get outta here, where am I?

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