I, Asshole Cross Over To The Dark Side (Again)

So it�s that beloved time again: the end of the quarter. Not only is it the end of the quarter, but I am also undergoing my usual violent monthly hormonal changes. Changes SO VIOLENT, SO SHOCKING, that they made me drink seven beers in one looong night and dye my hair black. That’s right, no more pink.

There are some good things about this: there will no longer be a pointless-to-scrub pink film in my shower. Or one on my neck. No one shouting “run, Lola, run!” at me when I am late to class. That guy I flipped off on the Ave. last week won’t be able to recognize me now.

The freakout continues…there are now accompanying tiny bangs, which I think is a prereq if you have long, evil black hair. I cut them so they sort of point in the middle. I am now a cross between Bettie Page and O.G. Glen Danzig. This was the last step I needed to take to become an evil information scientist, I suppose.

And today, I bleed like a stuck pig, but lack Snipper’s Remorse, which is surprising. I have this theory that last-minute PMS haircuts are some left over biological hard wiring. Your body says last. chance…to…get…egg…fertilized…we must change our appearance, and get humped by a different demographic. My hair is telling me I want to have Marilyn Manson’s baby, I think.

Well, another twelve-hour day in the grad school salt mines. I have ensconced my menstrual cup up there so far that Jesus couldn’t even find it.

10 thoughts on “I, Asshole Cross Over To The Dark Side (Again)

  1. That’s so cool! Now people will ask if we’re sisters whenever we go out!

    They already think that Liki and Frenchie are twins!!

  2. Lol! Did the same thing for the same reasons last week. Bad springtime PMS = Ack look at all this freakin’ blue hair! What was I thinking? = Dye all back to nice deep brown. I also now want to have Marilyn Manson’s baby.

  3. evil information scientist (black hair, ultra short bangs) meets evil laboratory scientist (blonde hair in tight bun, white lab coat) in a clash of evilness unparalleled by all.

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