My closest friend in library school and I are almost never seen apart. We have been called “The Dynamic Duo” and “The Gruesome Twosome.” When I am without her, people say, “Hey, where’s Scratchy?” and when she’s spotted without me, people want to know where Itchy is.
A few months ago, we decided it would be fun to perpetuate a scandal in which people would believe we were in a huge fight. But the (dumb, and boredom-induced) twist to it all would be that when we were together we would act as if everything was normal. When we were apart, the backbiting would commence.
I have been thinking about the perfect set-up for months, sadly. It had to be perfect: a time when there were just a few people around to hear it, and the kinds of people who might tell others, but were credible enough to be believed. It couldn’t be a party, because I didn’t want to talk about it a ton, like you do when you are standing around shooting the breeze at parties. Today we had our first window of opportunity.
Scratchy and I have the same class together in the morning. Today she was out with a rotten head cold, so I took my opportunity to unleash the very devilish and scandalous gossip right before class started.
The professor was making us draw barns (yes, long story, and I know it’s supposed to be grad school), and we were all drawing and chatting.
Archivist: “Where’s Scratchy? Was this class interfering with her mojo?”
Me: “I think she dropped. At least I hope so. She and I had an altercation, and I’d be very surprised if she showed up in here again.
Devilish. I love it. You know, I pretended to be friends with a nasty fat chick for ages, and whenever I bitched about her behind her back, everyone would assume that I was faking. (But then she moved to Melbourne and I don’t have anyone to be a hole about anymore. ) Best of luck, looking forward to the outcome. muahaha.
That is the most awesome thing I’ve heard in a long, long time.
mwahaha ur evil and i like it!
good luck on the scratchy turn.
lets see some fireworks.
Would an open all out mudwrestle be taking it too far?
I’m twisted and envisaging which mutual mates go along with which friend in crisis.
i hope there is some staged hair pulling at some point in this evil play!
Hair-pulling! Good call. Scratchy, are you getting this?
Yowza. You folks have the right idea–my liberry skool Scratchy and I actually did have a fight and now we’re not friends anymore for real, which sucks, because she was one of my best Scratchies ever. I guess I shoulda taken a clue from ye! (Fake fights ONLY, Sulky, you tool……….)
Heh. El Mendez and the Archivist were business as usual in cataloging last night. I don’t know if they believed the fight and I didn’t have a chance to add fuel to the fire. Alas.
Man, anything to bust up Cataloging…
Gotta be some levity in there somehow…(mad props to you mad catalogers cuz you got tha mad skillz and I’m terribly jealous because my brain just doesn’t go that way!)
Always next week. ;)
Hey. There’s a position open in the iSchool there over there where you are. In Student Services. I was considering applying…trying to move there after my recent Seattle excursion to see the bf. (Sorry I didn’t stop by to help feed the feathered ladies outside…) :P