The Guru Speaketh:
You, Searchers, desperately enter terms into the magic box. Somehow, you end up at this godforsaken internet outpost, I, Asshole. I am here for you, Goog-divers.
Ode+to+a+Librarian
We don’t have any odes to librarians here. I wasn�t even considering working in a library until, like, last week. However, we do have inflammatory diatribes about our future colleagues. Who will probably not have kind words to say about us when we try to enter the working world. Methinks I will step up my out-of-state job search.
Chased+cunt+2004
I haven’t dated a girl since 1996, at least. I suspect my status as a card-carrying member of Gen-Bi is about to expire.
Video+of+a+girl+crapping
Make me an offer!
What+girls+want
1) Copious amounts of head.
2) Ice cream that comes out of a special tap in the wall.
3) Bling
4) Rinse, repeat
Girls+that+want+to+fuck
We at the offices of I, Asshole are outraged at this search string. It’s “girls who want to fuck.” Fix your cocksucking grammar and maybe you won�t be home on a Saturday night trolling for porn.
Butt+floss+girls+naked+babies
How can you possibly want all these things at once? Naked girls? Or naked babies? Babies wearing butt floss? Be-flossed girls holding naked babies? The mind reels.
Open+asshole
Yeah, we open.
that naked butt babies one is a bit of a worry.
Ha! Finally a “look at the crazy Google hits I got” post that’s worth reading.
Me? I recently was stumbled upon by some poor soul looking for whether or not “trout slapping is gay.”
It is, by the way. So gay.
What in hell is trout slapping?
Hey SJ, you make my boring days at work better than three Sierra Nevada pale ales at lunch, gratze!!!
don’t mind the spelling, please.
Hi Jayson!
“yeah, we open”
heh.
sj – i thought you were gonna get rid of the yellow? not that the yellow is bad….. :)
Dude! I am working on it!
I like the yellow, it reminds me of the Cake website!
Did you get my message? I love you, SJ!!!
I’m sure there’s a good explanation for all of them…Don’t worry about the naked butt babies people. It’s probably more innocuous than we could imagine.
pure genious.
Ha! That’s grate!
Goddam I’m tired of blog spam.
Sorry, but if you have to call yourself “huge monster cock” your compensating for something. Just my opinion. I feel if you have a huge monster cock, your just to busy to be advertising it. You know with repeat business and all. And just wondering why you never see, “average, but does the job cock”. I would think that would be more realistic.
Sorry, but if you have to call yourself “huge monster cock” your compensating for something. Just my opinion. I feel if you have a huge monster cock, your just to busy to be advertising it. You know with repeat business and all. And just wondering why you never see, “average, but does the job cock”. I would think that would be more realistic.
Sorry, but if you have to call yourself “huge monster cock” your compensating for something. Just my opinion. I feel if you have a huge monster cock, your just to busy to be advertising it. You know with repeat business and all. And just wondering why you never see, “average, but does the job cock”. I would think that would be more realistic.
Yikes! Can you tell I have no patience and hit post more than once! Sorry.
Gay or not, I know “trout slapping” is very Monty Python. anyone remember the getting-slapped-with-a-fish dance? HA!
What the hell’s wrong with you people? Just Google “open+asshole” and get on with your masturbation, but don’t
a) keep posting what you’ve already posted. How many times do we need to read it?
and
b) continue to misuse the apostrophe. I mean, really, does it take that much longer to punctuate appropriately? I don’t think so!!!
C’mon Peeps, SJ’s super-conscientious of HER grammar, can’t we all put a little effort forth to do the same?
Grammar-conscious spammers. That’ll be the day.
I have since gotten numerous hits regarding “trout slapping” and I blame the immense popularity of I, Asshole for this. SJ, your influence is strong.
Oh lordy. Get me off the Google bus….