What’s Up With the Get Down

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I. Uncompassionate Liberalism

What up, my people. I knew my luck would turn; it was due to any motherfucking second. I got my first motherfucking job interview: young adult librarian. Honestly! I think I fooled some fuckers there�I am just a surprised as you are. Hiring me to be a young adult librarian would be like building a robot to raise your child…or like one of those sad experiments where you rip the little monkey away from its mother and put it with a fuzzy thing with a nipple. Are you feeling me here?

The interview’s in a couple of weeks and I am very excited, although I can’t shake that fraudulent feeling I have. However, they know I am delaying graduation until August…I just hope they don’t ask why. (“Life ran over my head.”)

I hope that I hear back from the academic librarian positions that I would feel better suited for. (Also, pays more.)

So, the punchline is: back to being a brunette for the interview…and maybe forever. Unless I become a renegade librarian. Yarr.


II. I Am Just Be-ing Honest

New downstairs neighbor! Hooray! No more Spanky McGrumpypants. So far, the new neighbor exhibits the characteristics of:

1. Having a boyfriend who she brings home late at night, drunkenly, and, well, let’s just say her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.
2. Wearing ridiculous shoes that she clickety-clacks around in all the damn time. There are hardwood floors down there and I can hear my downstairs neighbor walking around. But, damn, I stuck my head out the window, and they’re cute shoes.
3. She plays boom boom music.
4. Her “ladies” show up and knock on the window and say “haaaay, girl, come out!”

Conclusion: I love my new neighbor. She rules.

III. You Must Phrase Your Answer As A Question

I got stuck bringing my Frannie to class the other day, with my professor’s permission. He was going on and on and on about reference librarian stuff, and was asking us questions to stimulate our thinking (not going to happen, frankly). He was asking things like, “What is the best resource to use in X, Y, or Z scenario?” Frannie leaned over to me and remembered to whisper, somehow.

“South America, Mom. Tell him the answer is South America,” she said.

I was stunned. That my girlie pulled up the phrase “South America” was surprising enough. I soon figured out that she was saying it just to make me laugh, which I did. My kid has clearly inherited my crazy irreverent sense of humor. I can never unleash her on public school now…they’d break her bizarre little spirit.

21 thoughts on “What’s Up With the Get Down”

  2. I’d like a pinky haired young adult librarian, that’s fer damn sure. I just can’t imagine you a brunette, anyway.

    Happy for you!
    (Go S-Jay, it’s ya Birf-Day! etc.)

  3. As a Young Adult Librarian, do you have to know how to read and write the instant messaging shorthand? Perhaps you can bring back the classics by translating them.

    Gr8t Xpct8shnz, yo

  4. You motherfucking go girl. }8)

    Although I’m having some trouble with the phrase “her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard”. Is this a cultural thing d’ya think?

    Keep it Pink,
    xS

  5. Milkshake–I don’t understand–It’s still funny–Is it funnier because I don’t understand?

  7. I’m a YA Librarian and I enjoy going to work everyday. Some places smile on pink hair. Depends on the library I guess.

  8. i was a bald-headed (then green haired, as it grew back) librarian’s assistant in our local children’s department! this was back in 1992, when piercings were homemade with safety pins through the eyebrow! renegade librarians rule!!!!

  10. That’s weird SJ because I keep telling my husband about our baby: She doesn’t love us yet! We could be robots for all she knows!

    And after having my baby I read about those studies with the monkeys and the wire mommies and cried. (Not because I knew my daughter would be happy if I were a stuffed fuzzy blanket that leaked milk but because I felt so sorry for the baby monkeys).

    However, she would be happy with a stuffed fuzzy blanket, perhaps.

    I’ve digressed but I think that you will be THE COOLEST YA librarian ever. I used to go to the library when I was a young adult looking for cool things (found some of them–On the Road, at least)…If you’d worked at my library you could have saved me a lot of trouble.

  11. I’m glad to see that you are cursing again, right on. I hope things work out the way you want them too, and please don’t send SJ Jr. to public schools, they do nothing for creative minds, except exploit them. I won’t be able to read your blogs for a couple months, due to the lack of internet access in rural Brazil. I’m sure I’ll be able to read up on you when I get back though.

  12. hey Miel,

    I don’t know how old your babe is, but they are pretty bewildered when they’re newborns… I think it’s easy to think they don’t care about you at first, ’cause they’re just so freaky and freaked out. It’s pretty crazy for them, I think, dealing with the bright, loud, unwomblike world and the only thing that really feels good is milkboobymilkboobymilkbooby! So natch, that’s all they want.

    But she loves you… You are more than just a fuzzy towel with a nipple you are heavenlywarmmilksquirtingabundanceMAMA and as she grows you will see it in her eyes and feel it in her hugs and kisses.

    it’s what keeps us mamas from going completely whacko and defenestrating the little monkeys.

    :)

  13. >let’s just say her milkshake >brings all the boys to the yard

    I was having some trouble deciphering this one, too. And after watching the Kelis video on low res, I’m still a *little* vague about the location of the milkshake — up top or down low? But you’ve gotta have a little mystery in your life, I guess.

  14. Don’t feel bad SJ, I have to work with machinery. At this point in my life I’ve realized that I don’t play well with others.
    If, by some rip in the fabric of space/time, I was placed in a position where I dealt with kids, it would be like ripping the baby monkey from it’s mother and dropping it into a tree chipper.
    So remember: If you feel out of place in the YA section, a stuffed thing with a nipple is still better than a header into lawn mulching oblivion.
    I have got to stop blogging drunk.

  15. Good luck with the interview, SJ! I’m sure you would make a very cool Young Adult librarian, as well as a cool Academic librarian. Especially if you got to keep the pink hair.

  17. woo to the hoo! well done and good luck. oh i can see you with that pink hair in a sexy librarian bun telling the young adults to stop defacing the books. exxxcellent :)

  18. I think we could do an entire blog post on what the hell Kelis is talking about, but my guess is that the milkshake is more an abstract than necessarily only top or bottom. That’s what makes it so filthy and yet so cool. I think her milkshake is the whole package, including psychological characteristics.

  20. The existential milkshake: good guess. One of my friends, who also was confused about the location of the milkshake, suggested it might be the female equivalent of “pimp juice.” SJ: See if you can somehow work the phrase “my milkshake brings all the boys in the yard” into your job interview.

    We had a pink-haired librarian at our local branch, and although she was not technically the young adult librarian, they DID let her handle kids’ story time when the regular kids’ librarian was on vacation. She ruled! Great dramatic delivery!

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