So I’m Trying to Write a Cover Letter

But the kid is interested in potty practice, and won’t stop ripping off her clothes. Sometimes, when I’m trying to do something to improve myself, but I find myself interrupted by cleaning turds up off the floor, I feel like the message the universe is sending me is GIVE UP, YOU WILL NEVER LEAVE THIS PLACE. INSERT TWENTY-FIVE CENTS FOR THREE MORE MINUTES. And then the raisin chucking starts.

I think some people who are critical of stay-at-home moms who drink have never been stay-at-home moms.

(The post I linked is great, by the way. It’s not a criticism.)

12 thoughts on “So I’m Trying to Write a Cover Letter

  1. Points deducted for commenting “oh, they grow up so fast” or “you chose to reproduce, dumbass.”

    Points added for chocolate or distracting links.

  2. *roflmfao* “shit grits” bwahahahahahaha my dog had those once after a day of playing with the kids in the sand box… The next morning she had the most panicked look on her face all thru breakfast… finally she dumped a perfectly turd-shaped piece of shitty sand on the hardwood floor.. it made a clunking noise. She was much happier after that.. Man, talk about colon cleansing…

  3. I have the ingredients for a homemade cocktail on the counter, right now, to be mixed as soon as the glass is properly chilled. Perfect time to comment.

    Since your PNW’ers and it’s cold all the time there, may I suggest what we do with Leelo at night–zippered footie jammies one size too large, turned around backwards. If she’s clever enough to get to the zipper anyhow, pin them shut at the neck. Total containment.

    Shit can be funny in hindsight but man it sucks to be you right now. Drink more, is my recommendation.

  4. Jesus fuck, I can’t believe I wrote “your” instead of “you’re.” Maybe I don’t need that drink after all–I’m plenty addled already, obviously.

    Hang in there, fuzzy kitten!

  5. I read about this earlier today, and have decided that the media has officially run out of anything intelligent to say, and so is spotlighting mommy wars. What are they hoping to accomplish? Ratings, sure, but credibility has to suffer somewhere along the line.

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