This morning I was in the drugstore, buying myself some delicious, delicious foamcore. The office/school supplies were right across from the toys (well-played, Bartells). Strudel poked around a bit, and then I came face-to-face with Disney’s Royal Nursery Collection.
Did you know they were always perfectly coiffed and attired exactly the same as they were as adults? I am probably the last to know this important fact. I call plothole, because Snow White’s stepmother hated her, so she probably wore whatever was laying around. But people never listen to me, because on the DisneyTruLuv 4Evah message board I belong to, where dreams do totally come true, I am routinely dismissed because I am a King Triton/Ursula ‘shipper. (Trursula 4-Alwaysz! Sorry everyone, that’s a shoutout to my homie from the board, Goofy69.)
But I digress.
Look at those luscious, pouty lips. The aforementioned hair. The made up faces. Yes, there is blush, eyeliner, heavy eyelashes, and eyeshadow on these little toddler-dollies. They are reminding me of something….I can’t quite think of what it is.
Oh, wait, this is what those sensuous little dollies remind me of. MAH BADS.
This is a request and dedication to anyone who needs one. I am so feeling this today. Not for the ranidaphobic.
(I didn’t make this.)
Dude. The blow-up doll was a surprise; I totally thought the harlot babies were like The Bratz: Pre-STD era.
Those Disney dolls are an order of magnitude worse than Barbie. I think it is partly because they all have those weird sexist stories attached to them as well as the sexy stereotyped looks.
Oh God NO. I let the Disney virus into my life and it has replicated. I hate it when you suffer but you so totally deserve it. Also, when I am stupid.
Now that you mention it, I guess Ursula does pretty much rule. I always like Maleficent–but just for her name.
Them baby dolls go with the goddamn Disney Princess wedding gowns. Seen them? How fucking psychotic do you have to be?
http://www.disneybridal.com/
They do realize they’re gonna have to have sex after the ceremony right?
One of the many reasons why I am pleased to have no children is that I will never have to deal with the marketing. The toy section gives me a blinding headache.
That sex doll looks kind of aggro.