I AIENT DED. Again.

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Hey yallz, I am going to be gone for a few days. While I’m gone, I would like you to write a 500-word essay on one (1) of the following subjects: trepanation, unicorns, buttsex (Fairlight option), the perfection of Andrew Bird, or Pancake Bunny.

9 thoughts on “I AIENT DED. Again.”

  2. Don’t get me started on the perfection of Andrew Bird. His Mysterious Production of Eggs was the soundtrack of the Welsh era. Him and Sufjan Stevens make me melancholy/happy.

    Have fun away.

  3. Out of the subjects at hand, I know the most about buttsecks, but I ain’t tellin’. You have to get the info the same way I did – by experience.

  6. “Unicorns are faithful steeds. They winny. And rear. If I were to get a tattoo on my calf, it would be of my imaginary pet unicorn.”

    Ok, so clearly it’s not 500 words. But I think it just might do.

    (No joke, though: While watching Miami Ink re-runs last night I saw the episode where a “grown” woman (no pun intended; mostly) got her dead horses’ head tattooed on her calf. And cried. And called him her “best friend.” Oh, and his name? Was “Thunder.” Oh, how I love that show.)

  7. Trepanation always makes me think of Tarnation — that quasi-documentary film by Jonathan Caouette (really just a collage of his home movies spliced together on an iMac overlayed with $600,000 worth of music rights put up by his film distributor). I do feel for him and his mom though. She was sadly messed up. And with a mom like her, you’d be filled with Trepanation. In fact, that’s really what Jonathan should have named his iMovie in the first place.

    (N.B. the footage of little 10 y.o. Jonathan playing a Tennesee Williams-like heroine in drag is spooky-good and makes renting this doc completely worthwhile. Well, it will be worthwhile if you appreciated movies like Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Die Mommie Die, that Australian movie about drag queens in the dessert on a bus, and that tragic scene of a dying drag queen in Last Exit from Brooklyn.)

    Maybe we could get John Larroquette to do a Hollywood remake of Tarnation and call it “Trepanation”. He’s not busy. He could use a little indie-ish side project to make him edgy and relevant. It could do for him what Pulp Fiction did for John Travolta. He wouldn’t even have to lose any weight. John Travolta didn’t. (Wait, John Larroquette is still alive, right? Get me Mike Ovitz!)

    Whew. Blogging’s hard. Let’s go shopping!

    Bring back SJ!

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