So I have been out of town for a week, and am late, late, late to the party, but I knew I needed to say a little something about Blogher. Everyone else has moved on with their lives BUT WHATEVER I have not, because I’ve been stewing in my juices in rural Oregon for week.

I think I really do, because last night I dreamt it was held on a beach like a big party, and Liz Henry was kind of the boss of it and had a really long mohawk that kept flowing about behind her like some Road Warrior vs Liberty Leading the People action. (Gene Delacroix high kick!) I think I was dreaming about it and Liz because I had just caught up on the whole Wis-Con fiasco, which a friend clued me into last week. At first I was like how on earth could I missed that mess, but then I realized I was running that wretched auction the same weekend.

Anyway, my overall impression of the conference was really good, but I thought the keynote was fairly fail. I generally avoid writing about people who I think are boring or overrated, but I thought the keynote selection of Dooce left things on a sour note. The theme for Blogher this year was “Reach” and I saw that she was announced and I thought “meh, heard her story before, this is quite a comedown from Elizabeth Edwards, etc” but I knew I could find something else to do for that night.

My feelings of being unimpressed grew throughout the conference as it was increasingly obvious that she was not going to make an appearance anywhere (that I know of) including the panels and social events. What kind of message does it send to your fanbase/supporters that you can’t deign to attend any part of the conference that you are keynoting? It’s not like it’s outside her realm of interests. We’re not offshore fishermen. We’re female bloggers.

I suppose it’s a feat to make a living off of the spectacle of your life–many have done it before and will again, but I don’t really see Dooce as reaching for much of anything, except maybe for the paycheck she got for slagging one of her biggest fans in public. We should all be so lucky to be paid to troll people in public.

You know, actually, wait. I think my admiration has increased. With Something Awful you have to pay to see the trolling or slog through ads. Other trolls are barely post alphabetic. This is better. Well-played! I would like to hear more from that Redbook woman who was keynoting Saturday morning. I think Redbook is a sad ragbag but she was hilariously fascinating, and I had not heard her story before.

In other news, I am back from rural Oregon, land of coyote poop and driving, driving, driving on gravel roads to get anywhere. I have one month to find a job, do some editing of my own work, and save the historic diner! Speaking of historic diner, did you see that they got Old Nat for new 90210? And the rest of the has-beens are flocking as well.

If you are over the age of 30 are you wishing that they would just kick off all the new kids and go at it again? I mean, at this point I think they have everyone except for Luke Perry and David Silver’s Friend Who Shot Himself. They should bring him back as a new character.

I accidentally adblocked my gmail this morning and am thinking of giving up personal computing. Monkeychow OUT.