Okay, it’s LAAAATE for V-Day shite, but I am tired of wallowing in my patheticness, and also of making drunken entries that I don’t remember the next day. So I am cutting into my study time to present a Very Special I, Asshole heart. I think this sums it all up.
Also, on the fourteenth I got the very best V-Day present ever…Scabies!
Just kidding. What really happened is Mr. Husband stopped on the way home from work and gaffled a couple of azalea branches off of some random person’s tree, and wrapped them in a box with newspaper. They are so pretty, on the kitchen table.
“They are the only thing blooming right now,” he said.
I don’t know why this is true– and please don’t tell my shrink –but I’ve always wanted to do, like, a 16 Candles teenybopper romance flick about Valentine’s Day that has a scene in it where somebody catches on fire. Like, full-on Richard-Pryor-running-down-the-street-blindly-bouncing-off-of-things-like-a-napalmed-baby-carriage ON FIRE. Not as the ending, and it doesn’t even have to be one of the main characters. But just, like, midway through. For contrast or something.
It could be symbolic, yannow. Like one of those Ally McFucktard episodes when she has an imagination tangent thing. Or did you just want to see someone burn to death? Coz that’s cool, too.
What a good Mister Husband.
I guess Valentine’s day fatigue has not set in for ya’ll?…We forget about the whole thing now. Homemade gifts [‘borrowed’] gifts are the best! Mutual non-gift giving is the second best!
I hope you don’t have to eat tofu much longer but I always did like the ‘taxi stories.’ I can’t give you recipes for cheap meals–black beans in a can with garlic powder is my pathetic staple and judging from earlier posts you are above that!
Life’s being hard, huh? :-( I don’t think I’ve ever eaten tofu, but I’ve known that thing where money’s so damned tight that one’s forced to live on less than minimal food. It’s no fun at all :-(
Hi, Simon!
Miel: yes, well, ONE of us is Valentine’s Day-fatigued. Hee hee.
Seriously, I think he was just trying to cheer me up, and it was so stupid/cute it worked. Good for morale.
I know that I’m thinking of some seventies song about beeing broke and in love and there are violins in the background and even though it’s really cheesy it’s kinda cool in a guilty pleasure sort of way. I just have no idea what the title is…
if it will help cheer ya up… I’ll make more ryhmes for you! Just give me a couple of words and I’ll put my poetic mind to the task. :-)