They Say It’s Better The Second Time/They Say You Get to Do the Weird Stuff

Posted on by

Woo! Today I spent a jolly morning at the DMV. My picture makes me look like my head was farmed in one of those melon containers that makes melons grow all square. FFS, people. At least it’s not stroke victim. It’s more perturbed blockhead.


Artist’s Representation of New Driver’s License Photo.

Then, as a reward for finishing that hein (tm Maisnon) task, I went to the costume store to get missing bits for the girls’ Halloween costumes. Strudel is going as Bad Horse, so I have to make her ears and a tail, and she has a set of brown clothes. I was going to make her a horse head, but her little body is so wee I thought she would do better with face paint. I got myself some bad ass gloves for my Captain Hammer costume. I wouldn’t have fussed with it at all, but on Saturday I am going on a fun run with a cross-dressing superhero theme. I have been wearing the shirt all summer.


Please Hammer Don’t Hurt ‘Em.

Yeaaah. I have no explanation for my behavior.

Quickly changing the subject, Calliope the Easter Egger laid her first egg. Alas, it was on the glass fake eggs in the broody box, so it incurred a dent. I think it will be okay til tomorrow in the fridge, since it looks like the membrane is intact. Eyuck, these early eggs are so bloody on the inside. But if I was laying eggs for the first time, I imagine I would bleed some too.

My complaint is not about the bloody eggs or even the hole, but the COLOR. Calliope! You are laying grey eggs! BOORING! REFUND! What a rip.

I am going to start slow-cookin’ stew made out of some animals and stuff I found (freegan, lol A) and go for a little run. If you see some crazy lady running around on Saturday running and shouting “The Hammer is my PENIS,” then please move to one side and do not obstruct the flow of impending justice.

7 thoughts on “They Say It’s Better The Second Time/They Say You Get to Do the Weird Stuff”

  1. This may sound weird, but I swear our chicken’s eggs CHANGED colour from the boring grey to a pretty pale, creamy white.

    Also, I wish people round here would run around shouting “the Hammer is my PENIS”, because at least then they would be interacting with the world.

  2. BBQ APCLYPS! I heart you comme une biche. And that means doe in French, so it’s sweet, no?

    For some reason The Hammer is my Peen is taking me back to eldest daughter-oatmeal debacle of Aught-Trois? Penis….Eyes….I recall the lulz so well.

  3. Cross dressing super hero fun run?
    Where and when is this occurring?
    I might want to bear witness to that.. you know for journalistic reasons.

  5. Hey Mitten, thought I’d come and stalk you here. Orsum Captain Hammer costume, I am most jealous! I miss you in chat, I have Spawn’s first smile picture to bore you with :P

Comments are closed.