Franny and the ROUS

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Franny came upstairs while I was getting some gluten-free hot cereal cooking for the girls.

“Mom, something happened last night!” she said.

“Oh, yeah?”

“I woke up at like four a.m. and Chewie was in my room playing with something, I thought it was my clip. And I woke up again a little bit later and there was a RAT ON MY PILLOW!”

“Urgh, really?” I said.

“YES.”

“What did you do?”

“I said ‘UGH’ and flicked it off my pillow!”

“Are you sure it wasn’t a dream?” I asked, whisking the bubbling cereal.

“It was real! It’s eyes were open! But it’s gone now!”

“Well, okay, next time can you please wake me up so I can properly dispose of the corpse? Also, maybe you should consider closing your door at night.”

After that, of course, she went back to sleep until I saw her in the kitchen, since no one loves her sleep more than Franny. I thought it was a funny story, if slightly hard to believe. Where had the rat come from? All the cats were in last night and everything was closed up. There is a cat door on our deck, but the deck is pretty isolated from trees and far from the ground, and the cat door itself would be very hard for a rat to open since it’s magnetized. Could Chewie have killed a rat on the deck and then brought it in? Was it in the house?

I decided there was no real harm in believing her story, even though it seemed implausible and there was no proof. She’s not really known for wild yarns or seeking out attention in that way. I hated it when I was a kid and the first thing out of an adults’ mouth was something to the tune of, “IT SOUNDS LIKE A DREAM, STUPIDPANTS.”

This afternoon, Franny was ransacking her room for something nice to wear on her fieldtrip tomorrow to a place that requires slightly more formal attire. She saw her nice skirt where she had left it in a heap on the floor.

“I suppose I could wash this….AUGH!”

“What?” I said.

“THERE IT IS!”

And there it was, hidden under her skirt for later.

Update: Sad news, Chewie was hit by a car tonight and was put to sleep shortly after. He was a really good one. I hope that he was out ratting. I feel so sad for my sister. I should also say that the first commenters commented before this update, and are not being rudely flippant. Thanks, as always for reading and commenting.

18 thoughts on “Franny and the ROUS”

  2. Aw, Franny killed Reepicheep! Don’t let her know – unless she found that character creepy, in which case, well done, Franny!

  4. Eeeek! Glad it’s dead and you have keetoms guarding your family. *shudder*

    Speaking of Franny, there’s a girl at my son’s school who looks exactly like her. We just enrolled him in public school last week and he’s a special snowflake so I’m on campus a lot… Anyhow, Franny totally has this doppelganger running around the hood. I did a double take actually because Franny’s not a generic looking kid.

  5. haha, EW!

    One of my favorite things about cats, is when they bring you dead things, it’s not a gesture of love. It’s a gesture of “look, stupid, this is how you do it. God. You can’t even hunt and feed yourself. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.”

  8. I’m sorry about Chewie; but glad that his last night was spent catching nice big rats and trying to teach his family how to hunt. RIP, Chewie!

  9. ARGH so sorry about Chewie. That is tough tough stuff. Losing a cat in any way is really hard, especially the good ones. Speaking of losing a cat, I suspect that my Mister Evil is peeing in my son’s room. At first I thought it was a reaction to my MIL’s stupid dog she brings around sometimes when they visit, but it has been awhile since the dog was in the house and this morning I totally smelled cat pee in his room. I stripped all his bedding and will do a thorough cleaning, but I can’t have a cat who sprays, it’s just too too gross. Asshole, readers, any thoughts???

  10. I’m sorry about Chewie. That really is hard. But I’m glad he had one last run at glory. Killing a rat is a big deal! He should get a good place in cat heaven.

  11. Thanks, everyone. I think he spent his last hours being a badass.

    Dorrie: a friend of mine is having good luck with something called Feliway, which is supposed to mimic a calming pheromone. Also, don’t forget about ruling out bladder infections. Another friend was having a cat pee inappropriately and it turned out he was ill with that.

  14. Aw no! I’m sorry about Chewie.

    @Dorrie: I’d try the Feliway to chill out your cat, but I’d also soak everything the cat sprayed with Nature’s Miracle, let it all dry out, then wash it all again. It’s an enzyme cleaner that’s supposed to break down all the funk our noses miss.

  16. Oh man, I’m so sorry. It’s good to have good ratters around. Good to have cats in general. How awful to lose him like that.

  17. I’m so sorry about Chewie. I lost a kitty to a car a while back, it was a mega-bummer. When I put in the cat door, that was a bargain we made, that we knew that cars were part of the price of kitty freedom. :(

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