Dear Goddam Diary, today my sister Morgan and I totally went to the mall! We went right after dropping Frannie off at school, so none of the stores were open yet. It was mostly mall-walking grandpas and stroller mamas with coffees. On our way to the coffee hut, she had a true confession for me.
“Dude, I have to confess to you that I have been watching The O.C..”
“That’s okay,” I said. “It’s supposed to be a good nighttime soap.”
“It is! All this stuff keeps happening! I couldn’t stop watching it if I wanted to.”
We passed the sunglass booths and the cell phone kiosks. I was pushing the strolly and Morgan walked alongside, looking in through the still-locked gates. Morgan has been watching more TV than usual as she is bored and waiting for her classes to start.
“I have never seen a group of people with such bad luck,” she continued, still deep in thought about The O.C. “Rehab. Arrests. Drama. They beat on each other. They should just move apart, because they are just bringing each other bad luck.”
“Then there wouldn’t be a show, would there?”
“Aha,” she said.
Also discovered at the mall: Hummer cologne. There are no words.
Oh, hell yes, there are. There are many words.
Motto: “Now you can smell like a gas-guzzling freak-jeep.”
Motto: “The scent you’ll be embarrassed to have on your dresser.”
Motto: “The Ladies will go NUTS for it.”
Okay, that one was kind of very bad.
I can do you one better than the cologne – how about the Hummer laptop? According to the site, it’s “the perfect addition to your HUMMER lifestyle!”
UGH.
(And the Hummer laptop is available here: http://www.hummerlaptops.com/ )
And now I’m leaving this comment for the SOLE REASON that I seem incapable of leaving just ONE comment any time I’m here – and it entertains me greatly, so I had to tell you that. There. I’m going home now.
I lied. (Holy crap, now I’m laughing hysterically..) I have been wanting to mention: my blog has been used TWICE in lawsuits against me. Once by my exhusband (also known as “the fucknuckle”) and once by my dad’s ex-girlfriend when she sued me for his estate.
And seriously? NOW I’m done.
Hiiii Dana! Blogjack away. :)
hahaha, that face is hilarious.
also, um, i have occasionally been known to watch the oc with frightening regularity. look, i work full-time, am knocked up full-time, and go to school full-time! i deserve an hour of craptastic too-skinny-people tv a week, ok?!
Hummer H2’s suck.
I want an original military Humvee.
I know where I can get a (non-firing, unfortunately) M2 .50 machinegun to mount on the swivel in the back (pretty reasonable price, too).
So if you see me on CNN being chased by five helicopters and 73 squad cars, you’ll know I’m enjoyin’ the hummer lifestyle :)
Then again, running from the feds in a vehicle that gets .2 miles per gallon may not be a great idea….
(I refuse to comment again on this post even with permission. Heh.)
“a fresh and exhilarating burst of freshness”
???
Good god, who writes their advertising copy?
M’s face is perfect! Hummer is the male version of BS’s new Fantasy perfume.