Late last night a Seattle-area man, who wished not to be identified by name, was the victim of a pack of roaming lampreys. Laverna Dixon, a witness to the attack and aftermath, commented “It was over in a flash–it was horrific.”
The victim of the attack would only comment, cryptically, “Hey, I thought we had a truce!”
Anyone with information on the whereabouts or activities of the lamprey pack should email hotscoop@iasshole.org.
In Other News: No One Can Tell My Daddy Dressed Me This Morning!
Yes, you are seeing blue and red chili pepper overalls with a pink leopard shirt. This is what you can expect from a man who wore red, brown, and orange all at once when I met him.
Poor anonymous man!
I think the Strudel is quite the fashion plate. But then, a Ms. E. A. once called me out for my orange, red, and purple outfit during grad school, so I might not be the best judge.
Talk about alienating your core demographic.
The smile pulls it all together.