Here at Crazy-Go-Nuts University

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Shit. I am having trouble posting right now. Hell, I’m having trouble brushing my teeth.

Ever since Strudel hit about twenty months, she’s been on eleven all the time. Everything has become big. HUGE. There is no three, or seven. It’s on or off. And off is hard to achieve.

This morning Companion rescued her from her cage (“HEYOO? POO POO!”) and brought her downstairs to feed her eggs so I could sleep for an extra half-hour. When he came up to wake me, he brought her too. “MAMA! HI MAMA! HI MAMA!” She kissed me several times. It’s sort of like being woken up by a Jack Russell terrier, but probably slightly more slobber.

The tantrums are pretty epic, too. This isn’t the best example, because she’s not throwing as much stuff or screaming as loudly as usual. I think she was thinking about the camera. I was being rotten and not letting her empty the entire contents of our mitten and hat basket. Me and my occasional need for order and cleanliness. I am such a nutter.

This is this morning. The minute I came downstairs, before I could even reach for a glass of water, she pointed at my MP3 player and demanded MUSIC!

I asked her if she wanted dance music or quiet music, and she said, “DAAA!” so Kelis it was.

Companion’s father came last weekend and spent the night. He kept saying things like, “Wow! She’s very busy,” and “She never stops, does she?” and (sarcastically, as she jumped off the couch repeatedly) “I have no idea why you’re so tired all the time.”

Companion is one of six children, all raised with a lot of involvement on his father’s part. After Companion took Strudel off to bed I asked him if Strudel reminded him of any of his kids. He thought for a minute.

“No,” he said. “She’s a lot more active.”

Strudel is a great kid. She’s smart and healthy, and she has a sense of humor. She’s just very intense. Happy is just as big and tiring as angry. I’m frustrated also because she does so well when her sister’s here–they play constantly and with not much crying. When Franny’s not here, I kind of have to make a choice. I can watch her constantly, or I can take a break and call a friend or read a book, knowing that something will probably get broken or the tub will suddenly be overflowing. If she’s not off getting into trouble then she chatters constantly, which is basically her shouting one word repeatedly until I acknowledge her.

Today I am trying to think of further ways to keep her occupied. We have a Sit-and-Spin, and this rocker, and a membership to Gymboree, AND a Zoo membership, AND a bunch of other little random toys, all of which are helping, but we can’t do all of those things every day. We take walks at least twice daily. I need to mix it up a little bit. I am thinking about buying a mini-trampoline or a Big Wheel, or maybe both, because I love being indoors with a mug of tea, and if one of those could buy me some time I might be able to think again.

She doesn’t “get” television. On the rare occasions I get out the laptop and play Shrek 2 for Franny, Strudel glances at the screen for a minute and then wanders off. I have seen cats take more interest in TV than my kid, so raising her how I was raised is not even an OPTION. And I’m not going to lie to you. My fantasies used to involve Raoul, an ice-cold pitcher full of dirty nipples, and flensing gear, but now they involve a half-hour of TV time.

I miss writing. I miss sewing. I miss taking a shower without having the bathmat thrown in at me. What I really need is a giant hamster wheel so we can power the house.

13 thoughts on “Here at Crazy-Go-Nuts University”

  2. I need the castle bouncer! And I think together she and her sister would not exceed the weight limit.

    hxxp://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=3168464

    It’s less dancing and more stomping Tokyo, I know.

  3. Scour local sports outlets for personal trampolines pitched towards adults/aerobics. They cost half to one-fourth of what the “kiddie” ones do even though they are the same damn thing, and the adult ones are usually much easier to assemble. I’ve bought them on sale for as little as $45, handrail included. Also choose metal springs rather than the bungee-laced ones as a truly active kid can wear out the bungee trampolines in mere weeks.

    If you have TJ Maxx/Marshall’s/Ross stores up there, a lot of the gear pitched towards Pilates is great for active kids and is dirt cheap. Stretch bands, twisty stands (like a mini sit-n-spin without the center agitator), monster exercise balls, etc.

    If you just need to tamp down your kid’s energy a notch, you can also try some of the weighted pilates gear. Get her a cheap mini-backpack and a few of the weighted pilates hand balls. She can put the balls in and out of the backpack, zip it open and shut five thousand times, and then if she puts it on she’ll at least have a lag time. Again, TJ Maxx, etc. are your friends here.

    Good luck. I’m a fan of the ol’ stasis chamber myself, but they no longer sell the toddler version on the Alien Nation website.

  5. Love the overflowing tub imagery. How many times, during a moment’s peace with tea, or let’s be honest, wine, have I suddenly thought “why is the water running? why?”
    My suggestion for energetic toddler: encourage her to play with the cat. Sometimes that works. For a few minutes. Usually ends in tears, though.

  6. She’s beautiful just the way she is. I like a girl with a little pep(or a lotta). And Pop-pops didn’t care for Shrek at all. He likes videos on heavy machinery. Yes, videos. Antique but effective.

  7. “What I really need is a giant hamster wheel so we can power the house.”

    I’ve said, no lie, exactly the same thing about my son.

  8. Hey I’m all for the Hampster idea, let me know how that works out!!! Lately my kids have been big into the Dora kitchen, but she might just throw all the pieces all over and leave the room! You just never know with kids. Maybe a doll house? Does she do the whole mommy thing yet? Get her some princess dresses to go with her Kelis booty shakin’! lol

  9. Strudel is delicious. My niece has similarly high energy all the time, and she’s a serious Chatty Cathy, too. My brother and his wife got her a mini trampoline for Xmas, and it’s definitely helped.

    Or, there’s always sedatives.

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