I was going to do something all amazing and squeeze little frosting clovers, but I said FUCK IT. We’re dealing with a group whose average age is four. Please dispense sugar delivery system NAO kthxbye. You may not be able to tell, but these are wee cupcakes, so they are not full-strength. This is how you keep the teachers sweet. Also they are carrot cake. NOM.
For Strudel’s third birthday, the British Fairy came. Coool.
“What would you like for your special birthday breakfast?” I said.
“I would acksherly like yogurt quite a lot,” she said.
“ORLY.”
“Jolly good, Mother.”
Okay, she didn’t say the last part. She’s a funny one. Franny was all “F this N, dog,” and would get as close as she could to a word. “I wear my fweater while I’m on the fwing.” This one pronounces every letter, but does not yet create a smooth blend. So we’re at the table and we get,
“I need a sss pppooo nuh.” This is yelled, of course. It’s sort of like eating with with Sloth, except less shouting for Baby Ruths, and we’ve gone to a quieter chain system.
Anyway, I had a lulzy moment yesterday. I got the bill for my IUD. BOW CHICKA BOW BOW, IUD pimp. Now I am bleeding, and I had to jam my menstrual cup there with the IUD. Will they be friends? How many things can I fit in there? Next month, turtle and flipflop, too. Seriously, I have a fair amount of anxiety about this. There IS a string hanging out…what if they fight? What if IUD loses? I had a dream I was fishing through my purse for my keys and I came up with it. I thought I was just going to forget about it. I guess that’s for the non-spastic.
And this…is probably all I should say about that. Have a good day.
I know I always bring it up (only the best blog post ever), but didn’t you answer the “How many things can I fit up there?” question in “Vaginabreakers”?
I bet you’ll be ok. Just be cautious! My IUD and cup managed to get along alright, despite the fact that I have a tiny vagina (TM).
(Seriously, the cup barely fits so it is right up on my cervix…sometimes my cervix is even IN THE CUP. But I still have managed not to yank my strings. Eventually the strings hid in my uterus, so I don’t have to worry about it anymore. Thats is not a goal to strive for though.)
Just a heads up for people living in the midwest: Whole Foods is putting the Diva Cup on sale either soon or right now. I forget which. But it’s like $6 off. I dunno if other regions have it on sale or not.
Rocky….Rhoad??! OMFG how much do you rock for the Goonie reference! Thought I couldn’t love you more, alas, girl crush anew. sigh. I thought Strudel was at least 4; good job on keepin em young!
OMG, a “sale” tip I can actually use. thx Brigid!
You’re welcome, badgerbag! I hope it works out ok for you. I’m scared to try ’em.
Hell, maybe you could dispense with the purse and just keep everything in your cooch? It might be a little well, shall we say vivid? -at the cash register, but it would make for really interesting kegels…
;)