Meanwhile, Back at the Angry Lesbian Fortress of Solitude

I finally got one glorious day of temp work. Well, a half day. I was downtown at a car company’s convention that was some kind of reward for the top sellers/managers of the year. I had kind of a feeling of dread that you get when you’re dealing with the public, and if you know that public is going to be mostly middle-aged white men. Mostly they were nice, but a couple felt the need to make jokes at me, which was kind of frustrating because I was basically taking transcription of the focus group/Q&A portion of the day, and I was trying to concentrate on typing like a furious demon and catching all their unfamiliar company jargon. Type for fifteen minutes, and then switch to a new table and start all over again.

It’s that thing I’ve been dealing with for years, that hyuk hyuk, you won’t mind if I ask you loud personal questions in front of everyone or make a joke about your name. I understand I am going through a phase right now where I am Overly Sensitive to male entitlement, which helps me smile in the face of all this to make my moneys and GTFO.

At one table this hambeast of a guy insisted on knowing what my name “stands” for. I always want to say something bizarre like “ending inhumane chicken farming practices” but that wouldn’t go over well.

“C’MOOON, it’s gotta stand for something,” he pressed. I shook my head nonchalantly.

“It doesn’t stand for anything!” snapped the only other woman at the table with me, who looked like she was in her early thirties and had her arms all stacked up with bracelets and a jaunty cap. Right on. I’m sure she deals with that shit more than she would like as well.

In conclusion, please kill me, I can’t get Smell Yo Dick out of my head.

In Other News: Reader’s Advisory from Awesome Jerks!

Thanks! Here is the aggregation of the awesomeness that you left in my comments the other day.

Nailing Your Wife. Nathan Fillion in PG porn from Lorena.

Violet sent me something from Walmart that was no doubt lewd, but they apparently got huffy and moved it?

Beloved grad school homie JT sends me Darth Montague. ANOTHER channel from the Cheezburger people. They are poised to take over the world, methinks.

Rothbeastie gave us Diesel’s SFW Porn party invite.

Tuckova sent me new Grace Jones! Holeee shit. News flash: she still scares me, almost as much as she did in A View to a Kill. Awesome video.

Krumpy my Krumpy sends me Gay Porn Twins Go On Robbing Spree (Srs)

La Pequeña Sarah Palin comes from Styro. YEAAAAH. [NSFW, NMS.] “When John McCain dies I will be president. MWAHAHAHA!”

Julia sends Gay Mount Everest. Doh. I love live news redonkulousness.

Lady GaGa! How did I not know her? Man, I love pure pop music like this around the house. And yet I am running to Andrew Bird right now. I dunno! Thanks, Meredith. I need to listen to our local dance station more and less NPR. Oh, the economy’s bad today? How about now? Still, yes. And tomorrow too, right? Yeah.

Also, today I wrote about Tim Burton’s film homagery at Blogher. I love writing over there. I know I’m not curing cancer or anything with my pop culture blurbery, but it’s so much fun to focus and nerd out on a topic besides…well, me.

Hey this is like a real weblog or something today! Thank you, my homies, you are cheering.

5 thoughts on “Meanwhile, Back at the Angry Lesbian Fortress of Solitude

  1. I’m waiting for a background check to clear for a possible temp job for the gubmint. Also, what the fuck is up with unemployment payments taking two months to arrive?

  2. Lewd? Me? Man, first we go from “don’t know the girl well enough to call her up personally” to “man, that Violet is fond of the lewd!”

    (Okay, BUSTED.)

  3. Ok, your link to the new Grace Jones video capped off what was already a week of insane orgasmic pleasures. Grace was the cig. Thank you. When I die I want to come back as her.

  4. I have listened to that song approximately 438,923,002 times and I am still not tired of it. Go, pop music, go! I love it. It is a dance party starter, for reals (tried and tested, it works).

    P.S. My chin zit is all better.

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