A question and a story. If I tell you a story, will you answer my question?
I was at the doctor’s the other day, sitting there talking to her when I realized something was jutting into my breastbone. I reached down and found a wire. An underwire, in fact, creeping out of my bra.
“Oh, dear,” I said, interrupting the flow of everything. “I seem to…hmm. My underwire seems to be sticking out of my bra.”
“Oh,” she said.
“Uh…” I dithered, unsure of what to do. “I think this will be okay.” I sort of shoved it back in. “Hang on,” I said.
Fuck it. I fished into my shirt and pulled it out.
“Okay, I’m just going to put this in my purse…and done.”
That was awkward. As it turns out, this is my only beige bra, which is critical for wearing under light clothing because it “matches” your skintone. All my other broosieres are like black or pink zebra or some shit. Since I am putting off buying things like bras for now, I was like fuck it, Ima keep wearing this.
So I had the slightly sad boob and the higher, differently-shaped boob. I don’t care if I’m cockeyed! I do what I want! Then I was stretching a little and heard a snapping sound-the other underwire broke on the inside. Yes, I’m still wearing it. I DOOO WHAT I WAAANT.
A question: is it possible to comb nits out of your own hair? Has anyone ever done it? Thanks. It’s days like these that I really deplore my poor life choices.
oh holy fucking shit you poor thing. I don’t know about the nits. I just…don’t…know and I am so sorry i can’t help you right now!!!!
Ah, but if you were in town, would you comb my nits? I have no idea who to call about this.
Watch, tomorrow I’ll have my picture up with my head shaved. “HAI GUYZ.”
WELLLL If I was I would certainly get INVOLVED if not the ACTUAL nit-picker.
That’s what I thought! roffle
UGH! This is why I don’t do the whole underwire bra anymore. Every time i’d get one, the damn wire would come out and poke me like mad! And then I’d be like EFF YOU BRA! and want to take it off and fling it across a crowded room, where it lands in some poor guy’s minestone, and he fishes it out between thumb and forefinger and looks up to see if more “otto titzlings” will be falling from the sky, and I’m quietly slinking out the door, so as not to attract attention to myself.
How the hell did you get nits?
My girls, how else!
Hi SJ, NO NO on da NITS. You must have another do it for you. Gwendomama is an expert and just conquered said invading army and has a bevvy of great remedies. I shaved the little fuckers heads. Done. Happy hunting! Julia
so email her. is what I meant to say… AND I am so happy to be out of that blasted rain! Cali is golden as usual!
I think I’m just going to stand in the shower and comb and cry. That sounds awesome on a Monday.
Well, *I* did it to myself long ago. The first time didn’t take so well, but I got the little fuckers the second time.
I guess it kind of depends on how thick and hearty your hair is.
You got COOTIES!!!!!
I find it rather coincidental that you contracted cooties upon your return to MATY. Hmm.
:(
It hadda be this week, huh? I would totally comb the nits out, not cause I’m all about the nit combing, but cause I feel you. There are times when single parenting fucking *SUCKS* and I was right there with you one November when my two year old was sick as a dog, we were alone, oh yeah, and I had no car and my stroller was busted and I had no baby tylenol. I made this ghetto style bed in his wagon with a pillow and blankets and barked the back of my ankles all the way down the hill to the QFC. In the rain. Sigh.
Sigh. I’ve got a gimpy hip right now and can’t drive that far, and I don’t think my hubby would really appreciate me asking, hayyyy, can this chick from the internet that I’ve never met come over so I can comb nits out of her hair? Come on, she’s really cool! But I would. If, you know, certain circumstances were different. Like we had actually met and I wasn’t all gimpy.
It’s cool! My kid did a really ace nitpicking job. Poor dear, she had a worse case than I did. OTOH, she *gave* them to me, so it’s a break even prop.
Plus I didn’t want to whinge about this earlier but my guts have been messed up all day, so even if you wanted to invite an axe murderer into your home, I could not get that far from my bathroom.
Okay, let me lay on you the tale of lice and ass-long hair, and why, although I love my brother, there are moments when I want to kick him in the groin.
UGH. I was in grade 12, and he was in elementary school, and my mom just went with the full on crazy strong chemicals. It was the weekend, and I had an essay to write, so there I am at my desk, writing, and then I scratched my head, and DEAD LOUSE! right on my essay.
Revolting. But I am saying, just go with the really strong chemicals that you put in there and wait whatever hours. My hair did not fall out.
Yes, you can comb nits out of your own hair.
Email me if you really have them. I have some suggestions.
And…the bra thing. What a cheapskate I am. Well, what a broke person I am. After I lose the underwire, I usually go around lopsided for awhile until the other underwire comes out. And then you’ve got quite a comfy bra! Which does nothing. But comfy.
I second the use many crazy strong chemicals things. I was a single mom with 2 month old son, living with my aunt and her 2 kids. Who brought home the cooties. I had to use the OTC shampoo twice and then live in my bedroom with the baby alone for about 2 weeks before I felt safe to mingle with the household again.
Being big boobed, and also too lazy to hand wash my bra’s, my underwires are always busting out and stabbing me in the armpit and chest too. its best to remove the other one and just try to wear it on its tightest hooks! Doesnt do much for holding the girls up high but is still better then letting them drag as low as they want.
Okay, I had success with Nix! I killed the hell out of them.
Oh LAWD! OH Lawd! GURL, you killing me today. Whew. I’m outta breath, I larfed so much. I’ve been preoccupied with bras lately myself. Mostly wondering why they are so fucking expensive. DAMINT. Half the population wears them. We gotta find a good supplier of bras that wear well that don’t have to be handwashed and don’t cost $50. Handwashing went out with making your own soap. I don’t have time for that crap. Oh, did I mention I quit drinking? I’m still a tad …. cranky.
Holla for NIX. Glad you creamed the little bastards. GROSS
I hope your tummy gets better soon!!!
I believe it’s possible, but I’ve never done it.
You are just rolling in the good times these days. Wish I was there to comb your nits!
Well I lurve you to death as much as the next person but you’re on your own when it comes to cooties. Glad the killer khemicals worked. Some things just don’t respond to natural/green methods. Toxic FTW.
Bras should be declared illegal. This of course from someone who will put off paying the electric bill to shop a Victoria’s Secret sale…
Aw snap, been there and hate that. Here’s a luscious tip that worked great for us in our lice a thon: Put Listerine(Original!)in a spray bottle and spray it on everybody’s head every night for a week or so. Rub it in, put a shower cap on, and go to bed. If the chemicals missed any nits or nymphs then the Listerine will kill them. The added benefit is that you look AWESOME. Also, pick every day for a while. Trust me.
OMG. I haven’t encountered nits yet, but if/when I do, my elbow-length hair (more real estate for cooties to hide in, yippee!) probably WOULD turn green or fall out, just to be hateful.
I have a niece. I am not safe.
Also, underwires are the devil. I haven’t ever been able to find a bra of any size or shape that didn’t stab me in the pits or try to crave through my chest to remove my heart. I’ve gone from mosquito bites to bazoooooooombas to plain ol’ jugs, and at no point have underwires and my bewbz played nicely together.