Hey It’s Saturday Post Some Fucking Carps

I am supposed to be out gallivanting right now, and by “gallivanting” I mean “doing whatever I can find to do downtown that’s free.” Instead I am sitting at home with some bottles of Special Effects on my head that I found in the back of the cabinet. The cool dark brown sort of faded out to a dreary auburn color, so I am hoping that the red goo will make it look a little brighter, and yet still interviewable.

I’ve been hanging out at the library a lot lately, with the hobos, whom I kind of feel just a couple of degrees removed from right now. I don’t know how long things can carry on like this. When do you start making deep cuts? Do we really need the internet at home? I thought about selling the car, but who would buy it right now? Don’t go anywhere–don’t need the car. I tried to figure out my Xmas list this morning, and I am worried about that, too.

I cut my own hair this morning for the first time since July. It’s kind of fortunate that it’s so long, because it’s pretty easy to cut, one little section at a time. I had split ends like whoa from all the tiny combing and abuse with the lice thing. Also, I can finally say that the lice are gone. I don’t think I finished telling you about Listerine?

After giving up on the lice creams from the drugstore after two rounds and still having the crawlies, I went for the big amber bottle of Listerine. The first time I saturated my hair with it over the tub and put a shower cap on for a couple of hours. Afterwards I tipped my head over the tub and rinsed out the Listerine and watched bugs fall out. I don’t know if anything can be more happy and more depressing at the same time. I followed up with some conditioner and combing and lo, more bugs. Way more results than with the drugstore stuff. This was followed by a week of constantly rechecking and pulling nits, and they seem to be gone for now.

More awesomeness: I talked to SeaFed about Christmas scheduling last night. We also talked about the fact that Franny has been having stomachaches for the past two years and I am testing her by changing her diet to be gluten free, since it seems there’s a correlation between her eating pasta and bread and having a stomachache after. In the few days that she’s gone gluten-free she has had no stomachaches, which could be a coincidence, I know, but it’s hopeful since she used to have them daily. Then we are to put her back on gluten for five days and see if they return, and if so her doctor will order tests to see if she has Celiac’s.

SeaFed told me that she doesn’t get stomachaches at his house, unless it’s around the transition. I almost laughed, because she told me she gets them all the time, especially since her stepmom was making spaghetti a lot at one point. He also basically came out and told me that she was having them because Strudel’s dad and I broke up. Of course it’s my fault. Of course her stomachaches of two years were caused by the terrible conditions at my house and our recent break up. He conceded that sometimes he has a tendency to “gloss over” things (I immediately had a flashback to coming home to find Franny covered in her own shit and him on a different floor of the house, or me crying during fights and him falling asleep in the middle). He’s lucky he lives an unimpeachable life; how terrific that Franny never has stomachaches over there. It’s times like these that I have to remember he never really believed me about anything that was important with the kid, even, like, scientific facts. I can’t for the life of me figure out why I don’t spend more time talking to him.

14 thoughts on “Hey It’s Saturday Post Some Fucking Carps

  1. Eww, amber listerine? What, is that oriental flavor? Sounds painful, and without the satisfaction of minty fresh hair.

  2. in re: gluten issues. I never really knew a damn thing about them until we figured out Mah Baby has ’em. Life changed tremendously for her when we changed her diet (our diet). It’s a pain to deal with, and it makes “normal” restaurants, potlucks, etc. irritating at best, but damn it made life better for her when we made the change. Digestion, energy, EVERYTHING got better.

    One small piece of advice (though I Am Not A Doctor): if you’re thinking about having Franny tested, do it sooner rather than later. Or, more to the point, don’t bother taking the gluten out of her diet until after ya done got her tested. The tests for celiac this n’ that are (as far as I know) predicated on the testee having been exposed to gluten regularly for a month+ prior to the test. So, if it really is a gluten issue, she’ll wind up feeling in better health… and then it’s gonna hit her ELEVENTY BILLION times as hard when it’s reintroduced to her system. When Mah Baby accidentally gets some gluten after not having had any for a while, it becomes obvious quickly.

    Interesting side note! Though I don’t live 100% gluten free, it’s slowly migrated out of my diet because we can’t, y’know, have pasta, bread, etc. at home. When I do have it? WHOAH GUTBOMB POOPERS CITY. I’m telling ya, it’s not pretty, no matter what sense you are using to evaluate the pretty.

    For unrelated fun and excitement, I encourage you to read the comment trail for the first MetaFilter post about 9/11. This morning I read it and felt variously enlightened, sad, indifferent, and surprised. It’s a strange read, but if you’re looking for something to do on a Saturday night… Actually, it’s a little interesting to see what was happening on the Interwebs in Sept. of 2001. Many of the links have died, of course, but it’s still an interesting snapshot of the world in transition.

  3. Seafed is useless. I bet he just ignores the stomachaches, which, naturally means they don’t exist. My sister-in-law is kind of borderline wheat intolerant, which means she doesn’t eat it much, but occasionally indulges in pizza. Also, I hear some people get kind of squirrelly on wheat if they have an intolerance.

  4. I had higher hopes for Seafed taking an interest in his child. I don’t know why, but I did. Bah, he’s foolish. Gloss this, jerk!

  5. The feeling better off gluten may also take a while. It can take six months or so for the small intestine to fully recover from the gluten, sadly.
    Perhaps Seafed thinks that the stomach aches when she is with him are because she LOVES HIM SO MUCH. I hope that he believes you if she does end up having it – I remember one of my friends when I was young was diagnosed as being lactose intolerant, but her father kept giving her dairy products because he wouldn’t believe her mother.

    Congratulations on ridding yourself of lice. I will now keep Listerine in mind for future reference.
    Selling things might be difficult, but I suppose if you wanted to sell the car, it would be a better time than after Christmas. Someone with more money than sense might want a car for one of their spoiled kids or something.

  6. If the tests confirm Celiac’s disease, can you trust your ex (or his wife) to feed Franny properly? Bring it up with your doctor and then do what you can to make sure you can prove that SeaFed knows. Its an issue that should impact your custody arrangements if he ignores her dietary needs.

  7. I hope BK (Big Kid) has nothing serious and it is indeed just nerves. Also, I agree with Whatladder that SeaFed is useless. I also agree with BestDawn’s point of ‘will SeaFed and Mrs. SeaFed feed BK properly.’
    I hate that some people think that just because you cant see a physical ailment that it doesnt exist. >.<
    I had an ex who believed I was making up my depression. Thanks, I was on 3 different kinds of antidepressants and still had bad days, but didnt you notice the transformation from years without to 6 months ON the meds?! He was an idiot.

    Also, can we nominate best quotes for an entry? I’d like to nominate K-Dawg: “Eww, amber listerine? What, is that oriental flavor? Sounds painful, and without the satisfaction of minty fresh hair.”

  8. SeaFed is a fucking moron and is probably entirely unaware of the stomach aches because she either doesn’t mention them or else he forgets them immediately because they aren’t important to him.

  9. My dad and all his brothers have Celiacs. I have the symptoms, but I refuse to go get it checked out, because, ya know, once a doctor says you haz it, then it’s all official and stuff. My arguing is that my dad didn’t get diagnosed until he was 30 so I have some time.

    Celiacs substitues aren’t too bad I guess. There’s nice alternatives for biscuits and I got right into flavoured rice crackers with a range of toppings. Good luck with the bread, unless you make your own, it sorta resembles a brick. Along the lines of, if you threw it at someone.. you’d kill them. Toasted is better than not.

  10. Is this the first i am hearing of the recent breakup? I think so, and now I feel so sad. I’m sorry this has happened.

  11. Ugh, SeaFed sounds suspiciously similar to MY ex-asshole…
    Nope, my boy NEVER has headaches or stomachaches or sleep issues at HIS house, it must be all my manipulations & projections upon him…
    Useless POS’s, all of ’em…

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