I went with a friend to see Calvin Johnson and the Sons of Soil, Calvin’s new group. I guess it was supposed to be a Calvin tribute band, but Calvin ended up being in it. So there he was, covering a Beat Happening song from twenty years ago, while the band played surf music.

The real show was in the crowd, however; there were gutter punks and guys dressed up like little old ladies (?), dancing around like several joints were dislocated. Some people were just humping the air. I have never seen so many varieties of inappropriate dancing at one venue.

The bass player from Yume Bitsu is in S.O.S. and he ripped off his shirt like he is some kind of rock god. He stared at the crowd as if he was trying to compel every member to have greasy rock sex with him; I averted my gaze. He reminds me so much of my ex-boyfriend it freaks me out. But I have to say my ex would not stand up there like such an assmonkey at the front of the stage (obscuring the LEAD SINGER). I believe he would just play his guitar.

I wanted to buy a tee shirt, but they were old thrift store shirts that had been re-printed. I hate that. I know it’s all d-i-y and chic, but I like my tee shirts to last.

It was okay, and I kept wishing my sister was there. I said “hi” to Calvin before the show.

“My sister wanted to come,” I said, “but she’s out of town.”

“That’s bullcrap,” Calvin said. What do you say to that?

Later he announced that he was looking for high-school aged interns to work at K Records for the rest of the summer, as long as they were 16 by July 30. Too bad Morgan wasn’t there; he wouldn’t let me sign her up.

The best part of the night is when my friend and I nicked off to Shorty’s for some soy dogs and a pint of PBR. Mmm…soy burps.

Morgan: We have got to start that Beat Happening tribute band. Black Candy!