Ananka and I were out at Greenlake doing our usual thing, walkity walk, bitchity bitch. She was kind enough to come see the new house and give it the stamp of approval. The general consensus seems to be that the new house will be good for parties, like snobby wine kind.
We decided there was too much blood in our caffeine stream, so we made a pit stop to refuel. I was catching Ananka up on various dramz in line when this woman who had been waiting behind us interrupted.
“Excuse me,” she said. I was in my own bubble, as usual, and thought we were blocking the pathway or something. I turned. “I’m sorry to interrupt your conversation, but my daughter wants to say something to you.”
What, where, who the fuck was this. I put on my neutral face. Was this woman familiar? She was not. I looked down at her little daughter who was in a stroller and was nibbling on her finger. Did I know her from my Strudel’s preschool? No.
The child paused for a long moment, looking up at me. She held her hand out. “HI,” she finally managed. This is the thing she wanted to say to me?
“She is interested in your hair,” her mother said. “I do my hair red sometimes but she wants me to put pink in.”
Ahh…ok.
As we were leaving, I asked Ananka if she thought the exchange was…a little weird?
“Yes, totally,” she said.
“How rude,” I said.
“I think it was less about the kid and more about how she wanted to let you know she dyes her hair sometimes.”
“Good call,” I said. I need a shirt that says “I AM NOT HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS OK.”
Everyone needs a t-shirt like this.
http://www.zazzle.com/im_not_here_to_make_friends_tshirt-235121913327898792
Ahhh, but see my 3 year old daughter does this to me all the time. She wants to ask a stranger a question about their tattoos (I have one)/jewelry/motorcycle helmet or tell some woman she loves her dress. I will approach the person for her – sometimes she will actually get her question/compliment out, sometimes all she gets out is “hi” so I fill in what she wanted to say/ask. Though I try very hard to teach her not to interrupt people, I don’t want her to stop randomly complimenting people either. Dilemma! Should I not do this at all?
My mom likes to tell me stories of my childhood conversations with adults. Shockingly, I was not shy as a kid, and had no problem just going up to people. One day I ALLEGEDLY talked to a woman about the hat she was wearing. “That’s a very interesting hat,” I am purported to have commented. “Thank you,” the woman said, “I had it in my closet for ages and just decided it was time to wear it.” Maybe you should put it back in the closet,” replied the ruder fictional version of me created my my mother as a means to illustrate what she had to deal with on a daily basis.
Actually, I think this fictional tiny Halo is funny. Maybe kids shouldn’t get to talk to adults if they can’t work up the stones to do it themselves, instead of getting their moms to run interference. Or I could be talking out of my childless ass.
***“Good call,” I said. I need a shirt that says “I AM NOT HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS OK.”***
Congratulations! You have just achieved Native Seattleite and entered the Paragon tier. Choose either “Grow Toe-Webs” or “Loathe Californians” as a tier-level feat. Your temperature variation tolerance will decrease by two degrees (F) per level, but you will begin learning Ajax or Flash spells at the rate of one per character level, adding one new spell level per three character levels. Your familiar gains a +1 vs. blackberry bushes and can “synthesize” coffee at will.
I totally get that whole I’m not here to make friends thing, even if I am from California. (Plz not hate)
That was probably the biggest and most unexpected culture shock of moving to Texas. People here are friendly. Like they actually want to talk to you in the store when they aren’t even selling anything.
Freaks.
HO SHIT G-LOVER ICE BURN.
This just proves that you need to become scarier:
Gain 20 lbs of muscle mass,
grow a beard,
get an eye-patch,
perhaps some sort of peg leg or hook-hand,
Smile less, and grind your teeth more.
As a large scruffy looking male neither small children, nor their mothers engage me in conversation.
Try some To-DAY!
Lucky. I am such a grump in my advanced age. I guess the pink hair is like wearing a skirt covered in lollypops to the park.
You need to drool and talk to yourself more.
Can I Sit With You + PNW = No.
Outrageous! Woman attempts conversation with you in coffee line. The nerve of her.
Is this some attempt at shaming me or something? Fuck off. :D
I feel ya. I get stopped really often for my hair (colors or length), piercings, nail polish, watch, sneakers, pretty much anything on my body. I’m just a colorful person…and it’s like people can’t ignore me. On the flip side, when I want them to pay attention to me, for any reason (ordering coffee, checking into a hotel, at a work conference, etc.) they just glaze over and stare at whatever it is they’re into and impatiently wait for me to stop talking or answering their question (or sometimes not). Then they blurt out “OMG, I love your ______! How do you do that/where did you get it/etc.?!” and then I have to be gracious and answer…then repeat my original statement because they were mesmerized by whatever and didn’t hear what I said. Then some people just stare…for a long time. So I stare back. And I try to look scary. Which gets old (and probably perpetuates stereotypes). It’s all too much. Kids, I don’t mind as much, as long as their parents have taught them how to be respectful.
I kind of agree with Jane. No shaming intended, I just dont see what is so rude about this encounter?
I’ve been thinking about his a lot. While I think it’s fabulous that my preschooler wants to compliment people and strike up conversations with strangers, it seems that it just isn’t the “norm” in the adult world. I hardly ever do it, but I thought it was just a product of my personality. I’m naturally timid and have been actively encouraging my daughter not to be. But I don’t think it’s just that. It seems that some adults, perhaps most, just do not go for “unwanted” attention, even innocuous compliments. I will say that for me, if I get up the nerve to compliment you on something it’s not because I want to be your friend, it’s just that I want to be friendly.
Sometimes it’s the vibe you get off the person. Last week someone in a queue admired my hair, as I was wearing it loose that day. I was just about to pay for my items so I turned round to her, made eye contact, said “thanks!” while flashing her a bright smile and then continued with my purchase, while (I KID YOU NOT) waves of tangible embarrassment flowed off the person. I often talk to strangers when I have occasion to, so it wasn’t that I felt weird but she definitely did.
Alright, what I am going to take away from this is that some people enjoying being interrupted from conversations with people they want to see to make awkward chitchat with strangers, and some do not. *BANGS GAVEL*