Okay, I’ve posted WAY too much today, so I will give you the Reader’s Digest Version, with motherfucking bullet points and everything. I am deleting those earlier flailings because they simply DISGUST me at this point. I am having a raging case of drama today.
-First I was whining about how I am all disillusioned about the underhanded dealings of the university world. There was a lame attempt at a humorous tangent involving the words “seamy” and “tasty.” It failed!
-At the end I posted a link to my new audioblog. Because textual I, Asshole is NOT enough.
-Then I flipped out because I got an email saying that I passed the first round of the PhD applications. I would tell you this is kind of ironic because I was just cranking on about the bureaucratic shenanigans I have been privy to lately, and I’m all, do I want to deal with this for the next four years, and then I get this acceptance email and I’m all “SQUEEEE!” but you guys are too smart to have this stuff explained to you.
-And now you are asking yourself if someone who writes things like, “I was all, etc,” should be admitted to a PhD program. The answer is: probably not.
-There is also new, disturbing news since this morning: I had a very civil conversation with my little girl’s father today. He informed me that he blames me for his choice to get a vasectomy, even though I was all, “hey, I’ll get my tubes tied after we have Frannie.” And, I swear, he was all, “No no no, you are going through the pain of childbirth. The least I can do is get a vasectomy.” And now he is upset with me, because I have thwarted him.
-Also, he is going to get a Pell grant this fall and save his tax return so he can get his vasectomy reversed. Presumably to have children with the woman he’s been dating for a month who is “very interested in having children.” Discuss!
-Conclusion: no more civil conversations with my baby’s daddy, at least not until there are better boundaries.
-Oh, yeah, I totally lost my mind and bought a tube top today. A tube top, I tells ya. It is salmon-colored. Intervention, please!
Well, the best way to heal from a relationship gone bad is to have a child immediately with someone you hardly know.
Damn! I should’ve tried that!
Squee indeed! It’s great news; too bad it had to get soaked in bitter “ex” fallout. Hang in there and think of the stories we could probably all tell you about what our young first husbands did when we left them. Oh the horror, the cruelty, the humiliation, the pain… and let’s not forget our fun in inflicting it.
You got that cocky flesh rending (lack of comma possibly intentional) tang to your voice that generally spells trouble and a good date.
That audio blog entry is gonna open up my next coupla mix cd’s.
You want one?
Yes, I’m flirting.
Forks:
Gracious, me. If your current tagline is any indication of the randomness of your taste, then yes, I do want a mix CD.
Drop that addy on me and we’ll see what can be done.
Any requests?
Baby daddy should keep some things to himself, methinks. You don’t need to hear about that right now, even if he’s thinking it.
And also: Oh, no! We are definitely hive mind. I also bought a tube top. Black. Will it ever see the light of day?
“salmon-colored” ….. nice!
You have the voice of an an– . . . did you just say, “I’ll fucking skin you alive?” That’s rude. Then again, if “Molly” drank all your booze and threw up in your sink, maybe she deserves . . . boyfriend-fucking on top of the threats of physical violence?
Masterful audioblog. Keep it comin’, I say.
Wow, nothing like pesonal tumoil to make great blog reading. I don’t know whether to hope you get your life straight or to hope for more juicy material.
Keep it up!
i liked the seam(y) tasty thing.
am still glad i don’t own a scarf….or fish.
El Kabong: This has nothing to do with pesos!
Huh?
Ah, tube tops. One of the benefits of downsizing the rack? I seethe with envy, as my twins resist any such fluctuations.
i love the casual use of the term “baby daddy.” It’s much more descriptive and warm than “Ex-husband.” It removes the bitterness and replaces it with irony. Oh, and when he blamed you for the vasectomy? The correct response is : “HA HA MOTHERFUCKER!”
They give Pell grants for vasectomy reversals?!
if Mr. BabyDaddy gets a Pell grant for a vasectomy reversal then i am going to be really pissy about not being able to get student loans FOR SCHOOL when i was a graduate student.
harumph.
ohh foxy voice.
salmon is the new black!
my dad pulled that vasectomy line on his 2nd ex-wife, too… she really did hold him down and do the snipping herself, the way he tells it
hehe :)
Did ex get any flack from the doc about wanting a V so young? I knew a girl a while back who had a very hard time finding a doc to tie her tubes because she was only 23 at the time.
Just curious.
No, he didn’t get much flack, just an “are you sure about this?”
The funniest part is that he’s not a graduate student, so he can’t even get a Pell grant yet. He’s going places, I tells ya.
Yeah! Splendid news on the foxy librarian front, and GOOD GAWD I want to hump your voice. More audioblog! More!
If he wants to reverse his V, is this really your business? It sounds like you guys need to limit your conversation topics, an adjustment, I’m sure, but… it just seems to add stress, ya know?
I can’t imagine why anyone would want to reverse it. Now way am I ever gonna un-snip.
If any of you are just intchnig to find out what the procedure is like, check out this and this.
Yes, a shameless plug, but it’s cool because I admit it all, right?
Oh, he cannot blame you for the vasectomy decision! No doctor who wants to stay in practice without daily lawsuits would ever do a vasectomy without thoroughly discussing it with the man. Your ex has no one to blame for his decisions but himself.
I suppose he thinks he’ll look better in the eyes of New Woman (TM) if he insists he was manipulated into the decision. However, if she has any brain in her head, she should be thinking “Either he is the biggest weenie yes-man for doing whatever another woman wants, or he’s lying.”
Hmmm!
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