A couple of weeks ago Strudel came home with a SAAAD tale of how her reading buddy came along as she was minding her own gosh darn business, grabbed her backpack, and pushed her DOWN. Well, did you ever? No, never.

I asked Franny about it, since he is in her class.

“What do you think about this kid, is he on the up-and-up or what?”

“Yeah, he’s nice, Mom. It seems really weird to me that he would push her down,” she said.

“Will you look into it?”

“WHAT? Really, Mom?”

“Yes,” I said. “You’re the big sister. You have to let him know he cannot perpetrate turkey actions onto YOUR little sister like that. Just ask some questions, and tell him that if he messes with her again, he’ll have you to deal with, see?”

“What does that even mean, Mom?”

“Nothing, it’s called an ’empty threat,’ sweetheart.”

Some time later we were rolling around shopping for shoes, Franny and I, and I asked her what happened with the reading buddy.

“Oh, HIM,” Franny said.

“Yes, WHAT?”

“I talked to him. He said Strudel slipped and started falling, so he grabbed her by the backpack to help catch her, and she turned around and started kicking at him and cussing him out.”

“Oh dear. Did you threaten him first?” I asked.

“No, because I was pretty sure if anything happened, it wasn’t his fault.”

Franny is getting very good at making audible italics.