That gum you like is going to come back in style.

Tomorrow! Court! Ready? Yes!

I received his response¬† to my statement and it’s a funny thing, and really, I swear I don’t mean this in a snarky way at all, but there is something about the rhetoric and style it’s all written in…it’s just so funny. I mean, this is very serious, none of this is REALLY funny, but I kind of boggle about how poorly constructed some of the sentences are. Kind of like when your older brother is like, “You cannot not not not NOT have a popsicle” and you are like, CAN I HAVE ONE OR NOT.

I hope the judge understands. I know I shouldn’t be fussing about how poorly and confusingly it’s written, but this is it. This is all the judge has to go on. Sadly, it contains no gems like “6% of my daily calories come from snacks” or “SJ is a Satanist who has sexual relations with animals” like 2004 but it is certainly about how wicked I am in other ways, as it meanders this way and that.

I am hoping the meandering does not monkeywrench things too terribly. Wish me well, or wish me to DIAF. Either way we should have some progress after tomorrow.

13 thoughts on “That gum you like is going to come back in style.

  1. Progress is good. All will be well! You would probably be amazed at how many people through the internets are pulling for you and your girls.

  2. I VERY MUCH appreciated your Twin Peaks reference. It helped heal some of the overboiling rage I’ve been feeling as of late directed toward everyone and everything existing. GOOD LUCK TOMORROW! Here is some advice, based on some of the baby mamas I saw in court last month: (1) Don’t wear a mini skirt, hooker heels, and a top with cleavage down to your belly button. The judge will be snickering at you the entire time. (2) Don’t speak of your residence if it is a halfway house. (3) Try to refrain from screaming in Spanish at the judge. The interpretor will have a hard time keeping up with all the “he done my child wrong”s (4) Don’t come to court trying to establish your residence for child support if you are an illegal alien. You have bigger problems than getting $50 a month for shampoo.

    And seriously though, I hope, HOPE that your judge is reasonable, not swayed by the sillier things, and understands that SeaFed has to file his own damn complaint if he wants to bring a laundry list of everything you’ve ever done that bugs him as evidence to not pay child support. It just doesn’t work that way, guy.

  3. Okay, I am scratching my leopard heels off the list. Thanks, I know you are talking about real things, but that was funny. And yes, I am bugging him very much. Sigh.

  4. Dramatic re-creation of the letter as it exists in my imagination:

    Dear Judge, SJ tooked care of me when Frannie was wee and now she WILL NOT!?!?! Make her stop asking me things.
    Kisses. Sea-Fed

    Good luck tomorrow!

  5. Good luck! I do realize it is now 3PM and you may well be done, if not quite underway, but luck all the same!

  6. Fingers crossed for a reasonable judge, who is capable of seeing right through SeaFed’s bullshit. Jesus.

  7. I posted that very sentence on Monday and had an EXCELLENT week so far. I think it is the rabbit’s foot of sentences.

  8. I am crossing my fingers/toes/eyes for you; but at the same time, I think he’s pretty much done dug his own hole. All you have to do is rise above. And as you gots class and mad skillz, and I bet you will rise, baby, rise.

  9. V’s Herbie is my new hero of the day.

    Kick-Ass Asshole remains my hero of very many years. You will go in and look fab and act cool and adult and Sea-Fed will crumble into dust at your feet, while you coolly look upon him with disdain and the judge snickers.

    Then you will go for ice cream. Or hard liquor. Or both.

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