UP BETIMES and writing legal responses.
So, can I tell you, I have the most sexiest legal answer to everything that’s happening in court. There are memorandums, exhibits, and statements of fact. Again, as I have mentioned on twittergraph, I am really into my lawyers. It looks really good. I feel really fortunate I picked someone who can distill my hysterical bleatings into something coherent.
My side sounds like this: MY KID IS UPSET AND IT IS CAUSING ME BONAFIDE PHYSICAL PAIN PLEASE MAKE IT STOP FOR HER. This gets translated into precedents and true facts. It’s for the best.
We are marching into court on Thursday–here is what’s at stake: we are asking to change the parenting plan back to what we’ve been doing for the last three years, asking to appoint a guardian ad litem, and asking to change the parenting plan. Seattle Federline is asking to roll back to 50-50 time a la 2005, which is currently causing her nightmares. Last night she dreamt that she was hiding under a bed and he was trying to kidnap her. In the past couple of weeks she has dreamed that he has burned our house down.
SeaFed came into court he was wearing some cream-colored confection. Seriously, it looked like he was about to attend the cotillion. I thought he was going to go home and make himself a nice etouffee. This has nothing to do with anything, except to say that he has become an absolute echo of his aged father, except I am sure his father would have worn a nicer suit.
What is happening now is that I am providing really intense emotional support for my first born. This has never happened before. I played the procreation lottery and I did not get a child who had any developmental difficulties. Strudel was difficult in a toddler freakout way, but I don’t deal with any neurological differences or anything physical.
Parenting is hard, ya ya, and you get used to it. It’s been pretty smooth sailing. For the first time she is a heavy lead weight on me that I have to keep lifting and when I am alone I have to keep smoking like a fucking chimney. Can I tell you I have never been anyone’s emotional support like this before? How lucky I am. I married a self-watering sociopath and then I got with Strudel’s dad, who was more all, well.
Now I am dealing with someone who cries and looks at me to fix her shit. What can you do? You cannot turn away. You would like to make deals. “Hey, how about I cut off my foot and you stop feeling emotional pain and crying at dinnertime. Deal? … No? That’s not how it works? SHIT.”
I thought about tossing her back even. I asked her if she wanted to go, if I could fix it that way, I would. No, baby, I will not Solomon you. You want to go with him? No? No.
I am home. I am so proud to be home. It makes my heart swell fucking twenty-seven times its size that she calls me home. She is a good person. She is going to be okay. She is not broken. Ninety-five percent of parenting is just showing up, I think.
“I think there is something wrong with my dad,” she said, one Wednesday night on the couch, completely out of nowhere.
I know love for lovers and I know love for children. I will run and run until my legs break to keep holding Franny up. All the shit that happened to me as a kid, that is over now. I feel like all that matters is her now, and getting out intact. She deserves the chance that I did not have to be completely wrapped in love.
I am going to lay out everything that happened post-Thursday-a walk-through. I will tell you all about what court is like, win or lose. You are there with me, I know it.
Hugs or chickens or whatever supportive things help you all right now.
Give ‘im hell.
Damn good thing Franny has you to hold her up, because this is the shit that breaks us when we are kids and scars us in ways that takes a long time to recover from. I am glad to hear your lolyer is A+, but probably not as glad as you are. I wish you both the best in this.
You’re such a tuff lady, and that Franny is a lucky kid. Even us weirdo lurkers are cheering for you. You WILL run until your legs break off and it’s pretty damn inspiring to see a person trying to do her kid right.
I will certainly be thinking of you. I really hope everything turns out for the best for your daughter’s sake–she is really fortunate to have someone who is willing to fight for her this hard.
Sending good thoughts for you on Thursday from Germany! Franny is lucky to have you on her side.
Everyone has said it and I’ll say it too, Franny is so goddamn lucky to get you as her mum, just like you are lucky to have someone as awesome as Franny for your kid. Even if the worst possible happens, you are not the parent she will ditch the minute she’s legally old enough to do so, and she has a whole Interweb cheer squad behind her, even if she doesn’t know it.
“You are there with me, I know it.”
Fuck yeah. And when your legs break from running we can pick up where you left off.
Thanks for making me cry at work. I already have my “SJ does an epic beat down in court” outfit picked out for tomorrow. SANS UNDERPANTS so there. Stay gold, baby, because you are SO FUCKING MONEY dang.
I never give’em hell. I just tell them the truth and they think it’s hell.
~Harry S. Truman
I’m there with you. Franny, too. The pain of a child suffering because your ex cannot get out of his own fucknut-ed way is like no other. You are fixing this for her as best you can, and she knows. That has to be enough.
let me know if you want to vent.
Tell franny I thought her glasses were super cool.
Thank youse for replying. It’s a nice sanity check.
JB: I will pass that on. Sorry I was in my own tunnel the other day, heh. I am so oblivious.
Dammit, you’re an awesome mom.
When you can’t run anymore, you crawl, and when you can’t crawl anymore, when you can’t do that, well, you get someone to carry you. We’re Team SJ. I’m glad you know we’re all on your side. I’m glad you have great lawyers. And I’m mostly glad that Franny’s got you for a mom.
Another body wholeheartedly routing for you.
You are amazing. Franny is so lucky.
“I think there is something wrong with my dad” — As fucked as it is that Franny has to know that, it’s also great that she can recognize and articulate that he is the one who is broken, not her. That will save her a lot of wasted emotional time and stress.
I will be at your side. you are amazing.
You are Mommy Warrior, and Franny is lucky beyond the realms of luck to have you. My thoughts are with you both tomorrow, all day. Remember to breathe, deeply and from your belly. Hang on to the knowledge that you are loved, and are on the side of the angels.
Fins crossed for a Col. Sanders take down
So, I was just thinking what tadpoledrain already said…so….ditto to that.
What can be added? Sending my very best wishes from Oz where Thursday is two-thirds gone already. I better be getting my knickers off soon for court day a la Dorrie.
No sweat.
I was completely out of context and you had your unknown dood ignor-o-tron on full blast.
I’m delurking to say that I’m thinking of you and Franny today, and hope that the court decides things in her best interest. For what it’s worth from a complete stranger, I have my fingers crossed.
Ohhh, your comment about love for your child and helping her no matter what and the wrapping her in love was beyond sweet. Good thoughts/wishes sent your way.