“It says on your chart that you’re fucked up”

I’m leaving tomorrow to drive to Wyoming with Halo. I’ve never seen Montana before! And I will be working from the University of Wyoming for a couple of days, which is funny. Corporate librarian squats on uni wifi. Film at 11. I will miss my dog. SNIF.

Franny left behind a bunch of chrysalises, pardon me, chrysalides (from the dead civilization that brought you lead birth control and “octopodes,” natch) when she went off with her father for two weeks of vacation.


I am setting them free as they hatch. They have such short lives anyway. Maybe there will be one or two left by the time Franny gets back.

Franny told me she was going to Colorado and the San Juans. I think it’s funny that her father lives on an island and vacations on a different one. I think it’s funny that he’s vacationing at all, Mr. “I should only have to pay $91 a month in child support because I am broke and because electrolytes.” COUGH.

Franny called me while she was on her first trip. “I’m in Chicago!” she announced. Um.

“You mean, Colorado?” I asked.

“Uhhh, yes.” Pretty similar, I see the confusion there.

There’s probably some message here between me about to leave for vacation and these butterflies being freed. Have some metaphor anvils or something.

I got my hair done today (“Oh so you can look nice for the trees,” sarcassed Halo.). It was supposed to be more of a floral lavender, says me, but the way it took is more like a Crayola lavender. My stylist does amazing blowouts, but I’m going to Yellowstone, so I asked her to pass on the effort. I’m to be all desert and sweaty and eh anyway, and will probably slap it into a ponytail. She let me walk out wet but insisted on putting in smoothing stuff and curl cream and from the back I now look like a spaghetti poodle. There is no pleasing some people.

After this picture was done I lightened my Novakian eyebrows since they were way harsh Tai with my new hair. It is fun to go around the house with giant bleach caterpillars on your face. So I don’t even look like this anymore! Transformation. You would not even recognize me.

P.S. I need a pink spaghetti poodle. You better believe we are going to be flea marketing on our way out west.

5 Responses to ““It says on your chart that you’re fucked up””

  1. KellyQ says:

    By chance will your drive take you through Idaho? (HINT UNSUBTLE HINT)

  2. iasshole says:

    Panhandle only, this time! We are going zoomy fast to Montana on the first day!

  3. KellyQ says:

    Too bad! It would have been nice to see you, if only for a little bit. You should enjoy the panhandle, there are some pretty views.

  4. DrHansman says:

    YAY butterfly pictures! Have a wonderful time in Wyoming.

  5. jesslla says:

    Love the hair! If your puppy was white I could totally see you dying him to match your hair (with food coloring only, ofc. I would be disappoint otherwise!).

    Enjoy your trip.