HOLY FUCKING SHITBALLS; or, Guess Whose New Nickname Is “Left Without Signing”

Do you know that I won twice in court in ONE DAY at the SAME TIME??? Both cases were at 8:45 this morning.

My ex-GAL wanted to mediate like PRONTO, as soon as we were asked if we wanted to. She tried to hand me a cashier’s check for the first amount that I was supposed to pay, but since I had to cover SeaFed’s part it ended up being more, and I asked for what I had actually paid–$2000. I am supposed to get that check in the mail next week. WE SHALL SEE. She also complained at the adorbs law student mediators about how long it was taking, which I thought was pretty weaksauce. We were getting a mediator to draw up paperwork for my wimpy little small claims filing fee. Mediation can run anywhere from $100-$300 an hour, roughly speaking. We didn’t discuss any issues, just settled, BANG.

And then dig if you will, this picture:

If you cannot see it, it is the second page of the order to have SeaFed pay the new GAL his half within 5 bidness days, and then $3000 in reasonable Lady Jesse Pinkman fees since we had to make this motion at all. Wow am I getting an education. Ow, my character.

So a floor below me at the courthouse while I was in small claims, my lawyer and SeaFed were going at it. This week we had to knock together something called Motion to Enforce Payment of the Goddam New GAL Already. SeaFed’s rebuttal was I Do Not Have Any Munny and “hey do not look at my house that I own or my multiple vehicles or my job or anything thanks.” That guy actually asked for our local low-income child advocacy agency to intervene on his behalf. Holy cats!! And then, when the judgement was entered, SeaFed STORMED OUT. I am cringing at the scene that will play out at his house tonight when he has to tell his wife. Oy vey.

Did you know I am going to trial, supposedly, on June 10th? I think the commissioner wants it to happen Or Else. No more monkeyshines/continuances.

I will write more about my experiences in small claims court over the weekend. I am tired! I stayed out til 11 watching Much Ado About Nothing. I did not know it would go that late. But tonight I dine in hell, or probably at teriyaki.

Tags: ,

11 Responses to “HOLY FUCKING SHITBALLS; or, Guess Whose New Nickname Is “Left Without Signing””

  1. Bugger says:

    WINNING /sheenism

  2. A says:

    This is so great. I was making Mr. Burns fingers and cackling at my desk here thinking about SeaFed storming out. So happy this is all getting taken care of. It’s been a looooong haul for you.

  3. iasshole says:

    Thank you, thank you! I Mr. Burnsed myself.

  4. iasshole says:

    Also technically it’s “left before signing” but hey I needed a nap. And then I had one.

  5. hovy says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHA.

    Yes.

  6. Brigid Keely says:

    If hell is teriyaki I’m off to murder some puppies and commit other crimes (get sushi and not pay, perhaps?).

    Glad things are working out for you! Now here’s hoping the mandated results actually HAPPEN.

    Soooooo… I know a BUNCH of women in different states who have jackhole exes who refuse to pay child support for various reasons despite the women, who have custody, laying claim for YEARS, constantly calling state agencies, etc. These dudes are masters at weaselling out of paying (one dude managed to sweet talk a county clerk into letting him pay a hundred bucks to get his driver’s license when he was in arrears of tens of thousands of dollars Ha HA what!). So every time I hear some MRA lackwit whining about spermjacking or wev because those GOLD DIGGING BITCHEZ BE WANTIN HIS SWEET SWEET DNA SLASH CHILD SUPPORT… I just want to do him a huge favor and help him out with a little home-brew vasectomy, y’know? Like it’s EASY to get legally mandated child support out of some dickweasel who doesn’t want to pay.

    Ugh ugh ugh.

  7. Dorrie says:

    !!!!!!!! Good lord. FINALLY. and yes, That Poor Woman.

  8. AnEmily says:

    I’m Burnsing right now! Fist-bumping too, but in my head because I’m only on my first coffee and not ready to work out.

  9. tadpoledrain says:

    Ha ha nice! I’m going to deal with all of my grown-up problems from now on in the same way.

  10. V's Herbie says:

    No more monkeyshines!!! BOOYAH!

  11. ozma says:

    Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!

    What wonderfulness.