“I have to go someone is watching me in my space ship”

YOU GUYS I AM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW.

I’m wacked out on Prednisone at the moment and trying to watch House of Cards. But it’s like BUTTERCUP how did you end up with Humperdick after all? Where’s the giant? Whatever. Do I like this. I do not like this party hat. How about some slash fiction between the Giant from Twin Peaks and the Giant from the Princess Bride. It will be called A Tall of Two Titties, because moobs.

The last time I took this drug I had poison ivy for a month and it was spreading and I was legit dying of poison ivy. I slept with socks on my hands. I watched my roommate, the one who could put cigarettes out on his tongue and turned power tools into sex toys, he had some old fangled 90s gaming system. Nintendo 64? It had a bad Fifa soccer game or whatever. It was hilarious and everything smelled like Dr. Pepper and then my poison ivy cleared up.

I should tell you what I have. I have FLU BEAVERS in my MUSCLES. YUM YUM CHEW CHEW. I can barely stand. Did you know that flu can go into your muscles? But they are also testing for toxins and parasites too. My eyeballs feel like boiled radishes. I am waiting to hear about my blood tests. I have been sick since February 19. I am sad. Also I think I smell bad. If my pee turns brown I am supposed to call an ambulance. I could pee right here but it would only be ok for a minute.

If I die P. says he will update. NAPTIME.

5 Responses to ““I have to go someone is watching me in my space ship””

  1. V's Herbie says:

    Oh lordy…. You need to feel better just so you can read this while sober.

    You lick those flu beavers! Lick ‘em good!

  2. Jay says:

    That sounds totally awful SJ. Poor you. Is there a threat or suggestion of rhabdomyolysis? I have two kids who get it intermittently (genetic cause). If that’s the case may I humbly suggest you drink and keep drinking a lot of fluids. A lot. And do no activity at all. I hope it’s all better soon.

  3. AnEmiyB says:

    I am so sorry you are so stinking sick. I hope you feel better soon.

  4. iasshole says:

    Jay: rhabdomyolysis has been suggested/is being considered, don’t worry. It looks like I don’t have some of the tell tale markers for it just yet, but I will hear about bloodwork today. I am in good hands, dun worry.

    Thanks everyone.

  5. julia says:

    just delurking to say feel better, and please have them test you for Lyme!