Compelled To Make This Into a Proper Entry

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(Originally titled, “Maybe It’s Just The Mac n Jack’s Talking, But…)

Today we had delightful her school friends over for a playdate.

The older boy, who is five, noticed our KRAZY xmas tree.

“Mom!” he stage whispered, “look at their TREE!”

“Yes, I see it.”

Suddenly all eyes were on the festive, Beyonce-topped xmas ficus.

“That’s Beyonce,” Franny explained. “She’s a singer and she’s our Christmas angel and she’s BEEE-you-tee-ful.” She popped an orange segment into her mouth.

“So SJ,” my friend said. “What are you going to do when Beyonce, you know, gets older, and gets out of the limelight a little?”

“Well, I said. “I am fully confident that she will appear in US Weekly in a gold dress next Christmas. But perhaps next year will be the year I laminate her.”

“Maybe there’s a Beyonce Barbie. You could get one and strap her to the top of your tree.”

ZOMG, there is! I neeeeed it. I put it on my Amazon Wishlist, along with some other critical items.

In Other News: Unfortunately, I Cannot Put Him On My Wishlist

But I swear to god, this guy is bringing me around to loincloths. I mean, screw pants. No one will ever know if you have camel toe, ever. Or sanity either. Certainly no one will know if you have that.

16 thoughts on “Compelled To Make This Into a Proper Entry”

  2. After I stopped laughing… well, I’m having the urge to go put on a loincloth and prance around like a total moron! If only I had some leopard-print fabric… hmmm!

    There should be a holiday dedicated to this! Like Talk like a pirate day. But… “Take a photo of yourself in a loincloth and post it on the internet Day”.

  3. Hmm…I think my New Year’s Resolution is to lead the charge on that one. Well, with a picture of my companion, of course.

  4. Re: Your wishlist – the Conair Hair Buffer — you don’t really want that. It takes about a half hour per leg, doesn’t last any longer than shaving, and if you’re not really careful, you can sand the skin off your leg until you bleed, which isn’t really very pretty, and actually hurts quite a bit after the shock wears off. I know this from experience.
    Want a slightly used one?

  5. Hee! I didn’t realize that it was for leg hair. I actually don’t want any of it–except the tank.

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