One night, in the Kingdom of Loathing clan chat….

Assmitten: Look it me I’m in the chat.
BustA: hi sj
Assmitten: what up
BustA: you ain’t been on in ages
Assmitten: What does a spider car dealer eat?
BustA: i dunno
Assmitten: A VW Bug!!!111
BustA: huh?
Assmitten: A VW BUG!!!!
BustA: that funny stuff
BustA: snort

Assmitten: hey, wanna cyber?
BustA: what’s that?
Assmitten: OMG N00B!
BustA: rudey mc rudey pants
Assmitten: You gonna blockzor ME?
Assmitten: I am yr CLAN LEADER!!!
Assmitten: <--shouting BustA: as if
Assmitten: [link] http:// www.urbandictionary. com/define.php? term=cyber
Assmitten: Well?
Assmitten: HEY OVER HERE!!!
Assmitten: RU there?
BustA: i’m embarrassed
Assmitten: Do you want to or NOOOOOT???
BustA: i’m sliding the back of my hand along your collar bone
Assmitten: Okay, I have to walk in first.
BustA: when you look me in the eye, i reach up and stroke your cheekbone
BustA: “this is going to hurt”
Assmitten: Are you going to poke me in the eye?
BustA: I slap you across the face with my hard salami
Assmitten: Oh, good, now it’s tenderized.
BustA: then i make a sandwich on rye with the salami and give you a bite
BustA: but only if you refrain from the mayo
Assmitten: You are not playing right!
BustA: hey baby, where’s my wizard hat?
Assmitten: At the cleaners.
Assmitten: First I have to walk in to the Typical Tavern.
BustA: but you’ll steal the pickles
Assmitten: <--walks in to the Typical Tavern. BustA: mmm, who’s that sweet young thing with the short skirt?
Assmitten: I am actually wearing Slug Lord Pants. What are you doing there?
BustA: i’m actually wearing a penguin skin mini…
BustA: this might be dirtier than you thought
Assmitten: I guess I’m the dood. Moxious!
Assmitten: What are you doing???
Assmitten: Are you playing pool, or doing kegstands?
BustA: i’ve got 58 moxie points, so you ought to be able to get under my skirt pretty easily
BustA: i’m working on my beer, throwing darts at random patrons, and drooling over your skirt that you’re not wearing
Assmitten: Yes, because I have 143 moxie points, so I’m going to cut the chitchat here.
Assmitten: “Give me some sugar, baby.”

BustA: can we do it on the pool table?
BustA: mmm, check out my crotch where the three lines come together
Assmitten: Is it dirty and does it have cigarette burns?
Assmitten: You nasty little stick figure you.
BustA: oh hell yeah, and so does the pool table
Assmitten: That was awesome.
BustA: you know, if we start chatting, i’m getting a lot less done at work
BustA: can we start tuesday?
Assmitten: You are like magic or like Jesus perhaps.
BustA: he would normally start on a sunday, i think
Assmitten: You are the lazy Jesus!!!
Assmitten: We could though, you know, cyber for real. Hee hee hee.
BustA: you mean –gasp– without a computer?
Assmitten: No, I mean not in the same room, right next to each other. DUH.
BustA: wait a minute, you mean you’ll be here spanking your monkey and I’ll be in a room full of people getting hella horny thinking about you spanking your monkey?
Assmitten: Yep, BRB. I gotta make some toast.