One: I Oughta Know

Yesterday we got a nastygram from our building managers. Apparently the new owners are considering raising the rent, and are taking away our free parking. They’ve got our nuts in a vice with the paid parking thing, because there’s no way in hell we’re parking the car on the street to save $35–not in this neighborhood, where we often wake up to piles of broken glass on the street. I don’t know what they think they can get out of this place; it’s next door to one of the (until very recently) skeeviest motels in town and is right on Aurora Avenue. Also, since we’ve moved in, quite a few minor things have gone wrong with the place, a trend that I suspect will continue, since this is new cheapie construction and the building’s just hit its tenth birthday.

So we’re dangling here, a little bit, because we should know at the end of the month whether or not my companion will become permanent at Giant Local Software Company. When we know that, we will have a steady budget and will be able to move into a house. But if he keeps contracting, then we will want to spend less money and move into something smaller and cheaper. They don’t even know if they want to go month-to-month, so we may just be out of luck. We wanted to get out of this place this summer, because it’s too small, but we may be out sooner.

Did you ever watch that show on Nickelodeon, “Out of Control?” I always liked it when Dave “I slept with an underage Alanis Morissette” Coulier would pull the “hurry up” switch. They would film these kids doing things they hated and then show it in fast motion, like they finished cleaning their rooms really fast. I want a hurry up switch, so I can see what’s going to happen next with the job and rent.

Two: Snot Vengeance Is Mine

I had a little accident in bed yesterday morning. The Strudel awakened and immediately demanded access to the milkbar. I have been slightly sick and congested all week, after the worst part of it happened this weekend. All of the sudden, this mongo sneeze snuck up on me while I was nursing her and then, KERSPLAT. It was one of those sneezes where you go, “Oh, shit, where did that go?” Of course it landed right in the middle of her forehead, and it was dark and I cleaned her up as best I could.

When she was done nursing and I took her out of bed I discovered that I had missed the bit that got in her hair, and the bath situation did not pan out like it was supposed to, so she was “there’s-something-about-mary’d” all day long. Except, you know, with snot. The great thing is that babies are usually a little cruddy, so everyone probably assumed it was some food or something.

I spent about thirty seconds trying to feel bad, and lamenting my lackadaisical mothering “techniques.” But then I remembered that this kid has vomited, sneezed, pooped, and peed on me, and is learning that neat trick of using me as her own personal napkin/nose-itcher. So, vengeance is MINE.

SJ: 1
Teh Baby: Forty-Ninety-Twelvedy

Three: “I once shot a man in Reno just to watch him die, but then I got distracted and missed it.”

This weekend we are going to Portland (so if I owe you an email you will hear from me next week), prompting a visit to the133test baby store 3vah, Babies R Us. There we purchased a portable baby jail so Miss Thang can have her naps and sleep safely imprisoned in mesh walls at her grandpa’s house. It came with its own tin cup, with a sippy top! She likes it so far, but I haven’t abandonated her in it yet. I am leaving it set up, because it reeks of newly-minted plastic and vinyl, so hopefully it will air out.

Look at the print on this thing. Just because we’re poor doesn’t mean we’re tacky. Well, actually, we are both tacky AND poor, and I think we will be rich and tacky someday. All I’m saying is that there should be choices outside the “fun” jungle print for under $100. Whatever, it’s done. And we’re out.

Four: WOO Pineapple Express

It’s warm-ish today! There are daffodils coming up! The Wallingford high school girls’ purple be-mini-skirted legs are out! (Yeah, that’s attractive, girls, with your teeth chattering and everything. Targeting the neighborhood necrophiliacs, are we?)

Anyway, Seattle, I forgive you for a month of rain. Let’s make up. What’s that? It’s ten degrees in my hometown? Don’t worry, guys. Mosquito season is just around the corner! EAT IT SUCKAS!

See yis Monday!