Did you ever hear the one about…?

Back in the day I used to spend a fair amount of time on internet forums and in irc and whatnot, and whenever people used to mention meeting me in real life I’d say, “Just look for the pink hair…and the goiter.”

HA HA hilarious. Do I even need to finish this Morrissettian-ironical weblog? I guess I should. Bam: I have a goiter. It’s just a baby one, though. Maybe more than one. In addition to a bunch of bloodwork I probably should have had months ago (but I was out of my mind on steroids [see also: Coats–leather–fringe–douchey] and having trouble walking, so I might have missed a few things) I am also having a neck xray. Hooray!

Also I impressed the endo with what percentage of my body is covered in horrific scars. I never get tired of “Stump/Horrify that MD.” Hy fyves all around.

Labs on Friday. Xray when they can get me in. This feels like progress.

So. Let’s talk about something else for a minute. Close the door.

A thing I have done every fall for the past three years or so is go to the film noir festival at the art museum. Two of my formerly favorite things: film noir and having an excuse to go out. I am pretty flat at the moment since I am so part time, so tickets are out. Also it is touch and go whether or not I can even sit in the theatre on any given night for two hours at a stretch right now.

Also I am again with the hating almost everyone. Last time I was in a theatre (Xmastime) I shamed myself by telling this obnoxious lady who asked my whole party to MOVE SEATS when we had gotten there early and there were plenty of other seats in the theatre (true) to GO FUCK HERSELF. I think I may have even asked her if she was born this annoying or entitled or if she had to work at it. I can’t quite remember. A sign I should probably not be out in company, polite or not. I seem to have lost my filter worse than usual.

Postscript, she came down the aisle and sat by me anyway because someone else moved. When the imbalanced collide….

MY POINT. I am having my own film festival at home following their calendar. Well, I cannot find Shakedown ANYWHERE, but I asked a subject matter expert for a substitute. Sorry, art museum, I want to put money in your coffers, but this is for the best. It’s not you, it’s me.

To make my pathetic self feel better, I decided to cook along as well. The first fillum is Maltese Falcon. I decided to look up the release date (January 1941) and I decided to google around for popular food in 1941, what the hell, and what did I see? BOOM: Gourmet‘s first issue. I got on the horn with the librarian I like to harass downtown and she told me they have Gourmet back to ’44.

The plan is to pull a menu from Gourmet each month and year that corresponds to the release month year and the film of the week. Since the library doesn’t have the first issue, I have kind of reconstructed it online. Apparently the “dinner of the month” was an eleven-course French holiday meal. CHRIST, NO. I am going to cherry pick three dishes from it.

It’s fascinating how Victorian the recipes still seem from ’41. I’ll get into that more on Fridays, which will be the day after the dinner and screening. Other than the early Maltese Falcon, the films range from the peak of noir, the late 40s through the 50s and the last one is from 1987 (sun-dried tomatoes that night, for sure).

Okay, team, I am halfway through a 22 of perry and listening to Ice Cube, so this seems like a good point to break. Let me pour one out for my new little friend, Gary.

10 thoughts on “Did you ever hear the one about…?

  1. Oh that is such an awesome idea. And sounds more fun than dealing with all the stupid people out in public.

  2. For real, I have had all of Franny’s symptoms for the last several years (excluding rashy stuff). In the last 2-3 years it became so bad, I was happy to be awake for 5 hrs a day. I saw so many doctors and an endocrinologist, did sleep studies, had enough blood drawn to give a transfusion, even tried antidepressants at my doc’s suggestion. Thyroid fine, blood work all perfect, no apnea, not depressed… Turns out I didn’t grow out of my childhood attention deficit like I thought. They tried me on adderall and it’s been a 180. I’m functioning normal, nails don’t break just from a crooked glance, etc. I hope that whatever is ailing all of you can be better dealt with, and soon.

    If I stumble into a copy of Shakedown I’ll mail it to you. I accept freehand goiter drawings as payment.

  3. Hello! I am very excited about your idea to cook from 40’s Gourmet. I’m a blog lurker and I found you years ago while googling Victorian cookery and then fell in love with your story and added you to my blog roll. Now that I’ve accidentally written a very creepy is probably some kind of scam message-is there a way you could post the recipes and films you are going to watch? Maltese Falcon is one of my favorites. I’d love to do a watch and cook along.

  4. Hi Kate! Thanks. I was going to knock together a partial menu/recipes Friday or this weekend, but I will email today’s to you today. Short notice, sorry. Fun!

  5. Whoa! I did not know, Bugger. I’m glad you figured it out. I do okay on stimulants, and the endo was wondering about ADD, but I do even better off wheat. Bodies are complicated, man.

  6. Your film noir fest sounds bitching. Sad I am on the east coast and cannot attend. I would love to sit their and watch with you and your fam. Sounds awesome. And so ambitious. I’m always impressed by how much you DO even though you don’t feel well. Life — you’re not letting it pass by. Nope. You are DOING IT. Dang, gurl.

    PS — how is the remodel???

  7. Congrats? I have a goiter too…we can be The Goiter Sisters. I like to annoy my husband and sing “Me and My Goiter” instead of “Me and My Shadow”.


  8. Ha, thanks. I love “congrats?”. That really sums up life past the age of 30 or so. “OH good, your leg didn’t fall off. … it did? Well, at least you have another one.” Yes, progress and I am going to try to get The Goiter Sisters booked on Hee Haw.

  9. IMHO you should name you goiter Madam’s apple:)
    Jokes away thyroid nodules are growing on alarming rate now!!

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