I wake up in the morning and I cough like I smoke a pack a day. Oh the delights of my annual October cold. I was really over it about a week ago, but the cough lingers on. Stupid germy university students! How I hate them. It is also troublesome that Mr. Husband seems to be immune to any cold that I get, and continues to walk around tra-la-laing.

Sometimes when I am walking around the house in the morning, opening curtains, hacking my damn brains out, I reflect on my seventeen hours of childbirth labor (pretty normal for the first time out of the gate) and how those seventeen hours culminated with me at the edge of my bed, in a squatting position, desperately trying to pass my adorable little parasite. For most women, myself included, this results in some pretty horrible hemorrhoids, usually temporary, praise Jesus. Basically, you push so hard you create a rupture and try to push out your own intestines, like those disgusting lizards that poop out their intestines to lure birds or whatever.

Anyway, I think about this when I’m making my first cup of tea; I wonder if someday I will cough so hard I will end up looking like a Martian Popping Thing, or perhaps a Naughty Animal Pooping Toy. Where will I buy pants?

In Other News

Right before we left for Canada, one of my chickens ran away, right after she started laying, crazy bitch. I think hormones (and the fact that I keep stealing her eggs) made her all loopy so she just up and left, leaving only three.

Today she came back, demanding food. I imagine she’ll go off tomcatting around again soon, as soon as she rememembers why she left in the first place. I never thought I’d want to trade places with a chicken.

Also, lookit the Goog today. Oooh, pretty.