OOOH, I am so steamed. The kind of steamed where I feel like my head’s going to pop.

I have this dreadful, ridiculous Ongoing Saga with Dell (the computer company, not tha Funky Homosapien).

I ordered a computer from them in September. The Dell website said that it came with a shitload of freebies–$100 or a free digital camera, and a free CD burner. Swell! I thought. I wanted a digital camera more than the computer, honestly. I was required to have a computer, but a camera would be totally fun and useful.

The thing was, you could only get a discount if you actually called them. The person I called couldn’t pull up my order basket because her computer wasn’t working. (Red flag #1.) I should have asked to be transferred, but no, I was too stupid to wait another day, or speak to someone else.

My computer came in early October, AND SURPRISE, no camera! Huh, I said. I will call them and clear this up.

So she wrote down my order, and it was wrong. I know I said “I want that camera,” since it was the only thing I cared about.

When I called back to say that my camera was missing from my order, and reminded her that I called on the day her computer was down, she said, “Okay, here’s your order number, it will be there in a couple of weeks.”

Two weeks…no camera…so I followed up…and she didn’t return my calls. I emailed the main customer service, and they said I would have to contact her directly, even though I told them she wasn’t replying to me, and that’s why I contacted them. I know how these things work, I follow procedure.

I wrote her one more email yesterday, laying it all out. I concluded by saying:

“This is such a trifling matter! I’d hate to have to take my business to another company next time over something that could be so easily resolved if only someone would put energy into making it happen.”

Today I get the most passive-aggressive customer service reply EVER:

“I apologize for the confusion. I was looking back to the original date of purchase which I noticed was 9/23. Dell was not offering a camera at
that time. We did have $100 in mail in rebates. In addition to the free CD burner
you received. Please excuse the misunderstanding.”

The italics are mine. How infuriating is that? Like I’m some kind of ingrate because I’m complaining about wanting the camera THAT THEY WERE OFFERING.

The worst part is that I can’t actually prove that they were offering a camera, because their employee purchase program deals rotate constantly, and they offer’s been gone for a while now. And I called on a day when she made no actual computer record of what I ordered. It is her misinformed word against mine.

I don’t know what to do next, but someone in charge at Dell will certainly get a copy of this email. I would rather someone call me a crack ho with camel toe than to get all passive-aggressive on me. ROAR!