1. So I vetted the pole party (that was donated to the auction for my big kid’s school) with the director and a couple of other people who work there. “Have you seen this?” I said. It turns out someone at the school procured it. Well, I put in my two cents. I predict someone besides me will complain. Eh.

2. I tried on my interview pants today, because I have an interview next week. If I had to describe them in one word, that word would be “SNUG AS HELL.” But they can be buttoned, and they don’t look bad. When I was finishing all my post grad school interviews a couple of years ago, they were kind of falling off me. I liked having the small waist, but I don’t miss the miniature stress-induced white girl butt. At least I looked like Duff when I was going, instead of when I was coming.

Anyway, it’ll work for now, and maybe if I get a job I can get some clothes that actually fit teh lady can, so I can look nice at work, and not like flipping Jessica Rabbit. I’m not worried, because I’ll be fancier than the people interviewing me. I can’t believe I have been out of work now for almost two years. Except for the parts where feral naked dwarfs were vomiting in my mouth and throwing shit at my head, time has flown!

Thank you, wine.

3. I am missing protoshop like whoa. Hester Prynne does not have it installed, and we lost the disc, which may have not been an official copy in the first place. I am looking at installing Gimp, but fragdammit, I know protochump already. I want to PNW’ed. I want to PNW’ed for other people, who very politely requested one in exchange for a vote at BlogHer. I AM GOING THROUGH CAT MACRO WITHDRAWAL, HERE.

I can’t be all in UR ________, [verbing] UR ___________, otherwise. God, of all the stupid things to get addicted to. I need to start watching soaps or something, or get some proper drugs.

4. I am becoming the auction queen. I told myself I was only going to do checkout. I didn’t feel ready to snatch the pebble out of the auction’s hand. Now people are emailing me and calling me with things, because no one else is really doing it. I hate being the person who actually cares, and is a big enough spaz to do things well, in a way. It’s kind of embarrassing somehow to admit that you get satisfaction out of checking things off a clipboard and saying things like, “Put the giant tiki head over here.”

There is no real chair this year, so the school decided to take it over, but someone emailed me the other day and referred to me as the “defacto chair.” But you know what? I like doing this. I like running big shows. I think I can’t avoid this stuff in my life because I like this kind of spazziness. I’m not going to lie to you–I’m having a great time.

Goals for this week:
1. Find respectable addiction (Knitting? Bingo? Pulltabs?)
2. Buy plane ticket to Wyoming
3. Scream silently into pillow
4. Make time to masturbate.