So, I was meaning to post these with my theivery posts, but fucking shit if I could find them. Guess what, though? I was ransacking my joint while I was packing, and Strudel found my hatbox where I keep some of my old pictures. Way to be useful, tiny shit-losing feral dwarf.
If you were wondering if child abuse could be perpetrated through “hairstyles,” the answer is yes, yes it can. I liked this dress because it reminded me of the dress worn by Angel Face Barbie. Early acne? Check. Snaggleteeth? Check. Who loves an ugly duckling? NO ONE.
This is the age I was when I was at the height of stuffing candy down my pants: eight.
Exhibit “B” is probably when I was at the beginning of my porn gaffling. The little feral dwarf next to me is my sister, of course.
Look at that jaunty denim hat! Even that diaper is totally eighties! I’ll bet that diaper is about to come back into style any minute now. Also, no pants. Did you miss that trend? Yeah, I think everyone else did, too. I’m telling myself that I was wearing a bathing suit under that tee shirt, but who knows? Maybe not.
Here I am at my eleventh birthday. Banana clips! Fonzie attitude! “Aaaaaay!” Bad perm! Did I even deserve a party? Probably not. This was around the time that I stopped rootling drawers. But did I stop stealing things? No, I did not.
To be continued. Dun-dun-DUN!
I love that at your party, although you deprecate your hairstyle, your friends are sporting similarly heinous ‘dos (or possibly ‘don’ts).
awwww… your girls look just like you. strangely, for a second I forgot which blog I was in and thought gosh she looks like a completely different person now….
Holy Mother of banana clips. That hair scares me in a deep, 80’s place inside me.
HEYYY!! You finally posted pictures! I’ve been waiting 4 EVA!!! =) Thanks, SJ.
I had that Barbie. I didn’t understand her, though. Why a pseudo-Victorian Barbie?
Oh man…the banana clip. My dad used to think they were so cool. He’d always say “Wear one of those clips that makes your hair do that…thing.” haha I hated them then cuz I could never get them straight and my hair is so think it just sucked all around. Totally awesome pictures SJ…the haircut/child abuse is true. One time my mom thought it’d be a grand idea to have JUST my bangs permed. Fucking Christ…it was horrid!!! Oh, and I had my share of the “Dorothy Hamill” cuts too. Shit.
Hey, you were a cute kid not an ugly duckling.
OMG, Tirzah, permed bangs!!!! Oy!!!! That made me laugh out loud. Can’t explain it to the husband.
I totally had that Barbie, and that haircut.
oh god, i remember the bad perm days… my senior picture is scarey, like a pastel poodle.
hey, in a completely unrelated matter, can you give me a good solid definition of assmitten? I mean, I know what it means, but I used it on OKCupid! and have been asked several times and I’m quite sure your explanation kicks more ass than mine.
:)
Why is it that in the midst of the perms etc I see the table? Is that parquet-patterned Con-Tack paper?
I was so pissed the day my Angel Face Barbie lost her little cameo. My doll looked like she had a bad sunburn. You’re cuter than her any day.