Last night I was on the phone with Halo, which kept me up too late but was some stress-relieving, pee-inducing fun times. I have long maintained that when I sell five books and am in a position to never have a “real” job ever again, unless I choose to, I will get some rad knuckle tattoos.
“You mean five books, or five copies of one book?” Halo asked. Hur hur hur, Halo.
“And I am going to get some of them horn implants,” I said, with the sole purpose of needling Companion, who was egregiously eavesdropping under the pretense of making quiche crusts. This prompted a panicked look from him. He quickly returned with this frantically hand-written note:
This is a threat? Companion, have you even seen the inside of my Adult Drawer? You should have threatened to take away quiche.
Awww. Maybe he has self-esteem issues. What if your horns are bigger than is horn? Hmmmm?
Is that a frown or a sweet stash? LMAO! I also wondered if you meant 5 copies of 1 book. ROFLMAO! Surely you could retire off of that huh.
If I work at it, I could be as gifted as Companion with the drawing. Seriously, I’m the worst visual artist EVER. When Mia asks me to draw something for her, I panic and then try and distract her with something shiny. And sharp.
Don’t give Companion any ideas! I can imagine him withholding quiche as a punishment, and I selfishly don’t want to do without when I visit.
You have the most excellent family ever! Seriously. and I bet you guys kick ass at pictionary.
Now, damnit, I want some homemade quiche! But I must say, ‘No quiche for you, horn girl!’ while still comically satisfying, doesn’t quite have the same punch-at least on paper.
Hey, have you heard of the crazy French artist named Orlan who engages in what some people call monstration and she calls “carnal art”? She’s had cheek implants implanted above her eyes to create her horns.
Before:
http://www.artthrob.co.za/sept98/images/orlan.jpg
After:
http://www.orlan.net/
Don’t do it!!!