As I mentioned yesterday, I bought plates and sherbet glasses when I was on the Peninsula. I saw a DIY petits fours server that was SO DARLING in Bust a couple of months ago. Of course, I would feel like a total choad if I invited people to my house and actually served them petits fours, so we will call this a multi-purpose server. The possibilities are endless and include fat blunts and jello shots. Your call.

I will tell you how I did this marvelous thing. Can you tell what criteria I used when choosing these plates? That’s right, they were the cheapest ones in the mismatch bin.

Just kidding. You probably sussed out that I chose ones that had the theme of gold decorations. Your trenchcoat and squinty eye makes me think you are an expert susser.

I hope they are not worth one million dollars, because they are about to get crazy ruined. The sherbet glasses, I don’t care about so much. If someone tried to serve me sherbet in a thing that size, I would say, “BITCH, bring me the bucket and the spoon,” because it is important to accommodate your guests properly.

Anywayz.

First, make sure you clean the plates and glasses in whatever fashion you see fit.

Make sure you get all the sticky tags off. Those can be a real bitch and cheapen the overall look. I used a type of glue that you have to squirt on both to-be-glued parties, and then let it sit for five minutes, and then you mash them together in unholy antique-ruining matrimony. The plus of this is that the fumes are still floating around in here, making me tired and confused. The minus of this is that I had to trace where the glue needed to go so I could center it properly. This was easily accomplished with a pencil.

And then you are done!

click for bigger

UPFUCKINGDATE! Companion came home. I said, “I think it’s crooked.” He said, “Oh, I know, I wasn’t going to say anything.” THEY KILLED KENNY! YOU BASTARDS!

In Other News.

The ratatouille turned out well.

I added an egg for bonus protein. It was a double batch so half of it is in the freezer thinking about what it has done. We’ll see that again next month, no doubt.

I am terse today, especially in contrast to yesterday. I blame fumes. WAIT, wait…there. I just lost second grade.