I Walked Five Miles Today and Now Me Bum Hurts

Posted on by

But I am here to tell you I wrote about zombies today. AND, this is the last time I will bother you about this, because I have discovered you can RSS my posts at Blogher. I don’t personally know how to do that, but I reckon you clever jerks do. So RSS me, or not! I think you get the idea that I’m over there now!

Thank you Cleveland!

Also, there was an article on “suicide food” in my weekly alt rag. There is a blogger at blobspot who is writing a blog on the topic now. I don’t want to direct link him, because he scares me.

Oh, hell, on further reflection I should just link him. The internet is not that srs of bizniz.

Anyway, he writes about “suicidal food,” which he defines as depictions of animals on food packaging or restaurant signs that “want” to be eaten. Such as a pig licking his chops on the sign for a BBQ joint. “Mmm-MMM! I am sooo tasty!”

I can see the argument that this is a little creepy or whatever, I guess, but a sign like that says “good food ahoy” to me.

From his manifesto:

What is Suicide Food? Suicide Food is any depiction of animals that act as though they wish to be consumed. Suicide Food actively participates in or celebrates its own demise. Suicide Food identifies with the oppressor. Suicide Food is a bellwether of our decadent society. Suicide Food says, “Hey! Come on! Eating meat is without any ethical ramifications! See, Mr. Greenjeans? The animals aren’t complaining! So what’s your problem?’ Suicide Food is not funny.

The problem with this argument, of course, is that the food is not actively participating in these displays at all, or “identifying with the oppressor,” because they are drawings made by humans.

Anyway, he says in the paper article that the site is supposed to be funny, though he says in the manifesto that “suicide food is not funny.”

But, if given the chance and enough societal conditioning, I would probably eat people too, so I probably don’t have a dog in this fight. I mean, I just stopped eating crap off the ground like three years ago. Omnivores FTW.

Mmm, dog.

Update! 7:51 PM.

The owners of Epilogue Books in Ballard emailed me today, because they discovered that last year I was cranking in an entry about some bad customer service there. They said the crummy clerks had been let go and would I come back? They even offered a gift certificate. I like to get my complain on, but I felt bad. And the truth is, I stayed away for quite a while, but then I came back after the remodel. It is all warm and fuzzy there again, and it has been for a while. Epilogue Books ftw!

27 thoughts on “I Walked Five Miles Today and Now Me Bum Hurts”

  1. I’ve often wondered about that myself. “Why is a cow advertising barbeque sauce?” But it never bothered me in such a way that I needed to write a manifesto. Most things don’t bring me to that point, actually.

  5. Look. It’s not suicide food. It’s cannibal food, or misdirection food. “Look how good these sausages are! So yummy, and I’m juggling them so entertainingly, why would you eat *me*?”

  7. Then there’s cannibal suicide food-like the BBQ ribs place on Lake City Way with the goofy looking pig about to tuck in with fork and knife…

    It’s always struck me as a particularly stupid way to advertise a restaurant.

    I think it would be funnier if the animal was actually sticking a fork in it’s own rump.

    :D

  8. In my line of work, I’m sometimes asked to play with ‘lectricity. It’s much more fun to stick a horticulture guy up on a ladder with maybe hot/maybe not wires than it is to call in a ‘spensive ‘lectrician. What I’ve often wondered is, “If I do something REALLY, REALLY stupid…What’s the last thing that I ponder?”
    is it “Do I smell BACON?”

Comments are closed.