HA! Triumph. So I am a little atrophied from spending the last week ball-shaped, but I live. Nuts to frenemies who suggested I was pregnant or had leukemia. NUTS to them.
I hate getting sick, because then I am at the mercy of Companion and his extreme randomness. I should say that he means well, and he does a good job of taking care of me. But the kitchen is another story. It’s sort of like housekeeping roulette when he takes over.
I used to think that everyone had some kind of agenda against me (roommates, exes, the ill-fated time(s) I split rent with my mother), and if I was gone they would miss having a sparkly clean house. Now I realize that sparkly clean house is one of my Special Issues, and that I am going to have to pursue this hobby on my own. Companion has been handling dinner this week, and I never knew what I was going to wake up to. The time after dinner was kind of a blur where I’d usually just end up dropping into bed. We usually have a deal where I make delicious dinner (and sometimes epic fail dinner) and he does the dishes.
A typical morning: I come downstairs. “WOW, he wiped the table. He never wipes the table.” And then I turn and see the counters are still covered in ick. Or the table would be crummy and trashed, and the stove would be inexplicably spotless. The majority of the dishes would rest contentedly in the drain, clean and dry, while a single pot looked at me accusingly, “Hur hur, I know what you ate last summer.”
Normally I’m like DAMN GINA and I finish cleaning up and get on with my day. I have long accepted that there is a checklist of all things that must be done in the kitchen, and he must, no exceptions, leave one item off per night. This is reality.
But this week there were no Ginas to be damned. I let it go. Whatever, dude. I can be a slob too. And then I came home on Wednesday and realized that my house was starting to smell.
UGH.
So apparently I am part of this kitchen ecosystem too, and without me, the spotted owls kick the bucket. I threw everything in the dishwasher and pushed start, even pots that I was pretty sure might not come clean. I also learned that if you rinse out a pot a few times and resoap, it’s almost like clean after about four times. WOW!
I also learned that I am no match for the mighty Strudel when I am sick. I took her to the indoor play area at the Zoo on Wednesday, just to get her out of the house, and it almost put me in a coma. But staying here would have been MUCH worse.
I got prodded by a doctor yesterday. She thought it is parainfluenza. I hope that by having this now, I won’t get it next time. Or something. I need some hope to cling to. Also, just like last January, I have been so sick that my caffeine button got broken, so I gave up drinking it. Now I am just normal light-dep confused and sleepy, instead of all bristly and vibrating, which I prefer. Let’s see how long I can stay off the C for, EH?
Today I am going to try to walk a bit. My muscles really do feel messed up and sore from laying in a sad heap. Also, very excited to be writing today with little monkey back in school. It took me four hours to write, like, 300 words two weeks ago. Pathetic.
Poodle! So sorry you were incapacitated. I, too, have a companion who cannot wipe down the counters. To which I say, oh, how CONVEEEEENIENT. Must remember to borrow those blinders.
Welcome back! I feel you on the Sparkly Issue, and I have to say that at least your Companion mixes it up a little. Mine prefers to be very consistent in what is left off of the list, except for rare occasions when he nails the whole thing and I get all hopeful, only to be let down the next day when once again there are gross little food bitlets in the sink trap or a towering mound of pots in the tiny dish drainer (dry one pot, at least! it makes things much more stable!).
I am going to have to pursue this hobby on my own excellent!
I am with you in spirit, sweetheart. Me and my housemaid’s knees and my oblivious co-existers.
“Nuts to frenemies who suggested I was pregnant or had leukemia. NUTS to them.”
I believe I suggested both. Does that mean I get two nuts?
I am the Typhoid Mary of the Internets!
I must admit that I too have the “selective dirt blindness” gene. I believe it resides on the Y chromosome between color blindness, and memorizing movie quips.
My Hubbers believes “cleaning the kitchen” means to pile any and all dishes, cups, pans, silverware along with the accompanying food and or liquids into the sink. Usually with the sponge at the bottom and/or food on the non disposal side. I’ve hit the jackpot I tell ya. Glad you’re almost non-zombie like. Eat some brain food and get betters.
Getting sick is THE WORST! Why does it always happen at THE WORST time? Julie for WOW!
Getting sick is THE WORST! Why does it always happen at THE WORST time? Julie for WOW!
Getting sick is THE WORST! Why does it always happen at THE WORST time? Julie for WOW!
Companion does occasional housework? One-upping is not an admirable trait. Do you realize other companions do mostly NOTHING? Or when requested to do dishes, do JUST THAT? Wiping of counters and oventop are NEVER part of the deal. Kudos to you for snagging a companion who is either slightly civilized, or scared to death of you!
I have high expectations, I guess.
If my place smells, I feel inclined to move. Or murder my roommate. Kudos on your self restraint.
-Miss Debater