Franny Tells a Story.

Backstory is that I had breakfast recently with another mom whose child goes to Franny’s school. She wanted to call a meeting because apparently Franny is treating her kid like poo when she’s at my house, and BFFs with her when she’s at her dad’s. She picked up that I was anti-playdate, but all that it was about was in the amazing year 2004, my ex was having moms sign pieces of paper that were used against me in court, because I am Satanic Puppy Eater. This family in particular was spending a lot of time with SeaFed, so I avoided.

We talked, though, and it was funny. The mom told me she actually was down with me, because she has heard about my mad skillz. Also, when she would turn her child over to SeaFed, he would take the kids to get doughnuts and shit at the 7-11. It was funny–I did not know this.

So I was afraid of everyone at school, because of the court business. Nothing personal really. Just tired of getting dragged through the mud. I thought my kid was staying away from this kid. I was wrong. I told Franny why I had shunned them.

And now they are going to play at my house on Thursday. Bygones and shit. I am not afraid of any of the other mommies anymore. My world was very small three years ago. Now it is very larger.

“I had a dream, Mom,” Franny told me today, as I was in the bathroom, dying her hair.

“Oh?”

“Yes. I dreamed about that stuff you told me about court the other day. About how the other moms signed papers.”

“Yeah?”

“I dreamed there were a lot of moms there, speaking against you. And I stood up. And my dad was there.”

“And then what happened?” I said.

“I stood up and I said, ‘I don’t think any of this is right. I spend time with my mom, and with my stepmom. I want to be with my MOM.”

“Oh,” I said. I always feel vaguely alarmed when she does this. There is a part of me, I’m serious, who wants her to be more of a fan of her dad.

“I feel like I have TWO MOMS,” she finished.

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah,” she said.

Hair Dye Bizniz.

Yesterday Franny said she wanted MOAR hair colors. She had talked about letting her hair chill for a while, so I said, “R U SRS?” and she said for real, so it was on.

Strudel insisted on being included, as well. Franny got her hair did around the same age, so I relented. I just did her little bob-tips in the front.

BEFORES

Strudel is going through this thing where she thinks smiling=squinting. I don’t know. We will ride this out.

Here is Speculation about what Strudel will look like after. There may be slovenly peanut butter face, because Strudel had a sick day, and I had a day with her napping on me and squirming on my bladder. Yeeeah. We open.

Franny requested Fresh N Def red, like her moomaw.

I let it sit for a while because I had to make dinner, and then special colors emerged. This is Special Effects ‘Devilish” by the way. LOOK at those green streaks. How weird is that?

It was success. And so another afternoon was spent baking cookies and doing macrame. Yers, I’m TALKING to YOU. IMA get you SUCKAA!