A bookshelf was left behind by the previous tenants, who were apparently some disreputable characters. There is evidence of either untended or very determined children all over this house in the forms of scribbles on many unpaintable surfaces, and last night as I was planting lavender bushes the neighbor was telling us about previous escapee dogs from our backyard, about drug deals, and about children appearing and being taken away again. Apparently the owner did not even want to rent to people with children again, which is a double-edged sword because if you refuse to rent a five-bedroom in an ungentrified neighborhood to a family, then you are going to get a batch of college students. He liked us on sight, though, which was nice.
Since the bookshelf was abandoned, I decided to take advantage of it, rather than letting it gather dust in the garage. I think it will hold all my cookbooks, plus my Hall & Oates records, WOO. It looked like it had been built-in somewhere previously, since the sides were unpainted and drippy and there were loose screws in its back. Where it had been built into was a mystery, since there is no place for a built-in shelf here.
P. came out to supervise.
“You should leave the edges blank so we can paint those the purple you got to break up all the gold,” he said.
“CHUH,” I replied. “I have TRAINING in COLOR THEORY OK. When I need some math done, I will call you, Mr. Math Degree, oh wait no I will not because I can do calculations in my head faster than you can.”
“Oh no you did not. I just think…”
“THIS IS ART, THIS IS INTERIOR DECORATING.”
“Spray painting everything you own gold is not ‘interior decorating.”
BLASPHEMY!
I live for these arguments.
Before!
Umm…During!
It’s kind of streaky. Two cans did not cover everything, I now see in the light of day. I was so high I missed a whole panel last night and did not even realize it. WOO FUMES. That was a fun five minutes, then the headache, oh god the headache.
I always spend all this time at the hardware store staring at all the metallic spray paint and I come home with the exact same shade of Rustoleum gold EVERY TIME. I think I have a soft spot for this color because A. it is awesome and B. it is the very first color I tagged with as a juvenile delinquent. I was eight years old and I had the nozzle turned backwards and it went RIGHT INTO MY RIGHT EYE. However, I did not cry because, don’t let the spike hair fool you, like, I’m not a bitch.
TODAY I HAVE GOLD BOOGERS. THE END.
When I was in high school, one year I was Head of Costumes for the Theater Department. I had to spray paint something like 50 brown felt bonnets blue. Actually, first I had to spray them white or else the brown was too dark and showed through the blue. I used the Art Room’s Hood which helped quite a bit, but I still got paint all over my trigger finger and embedded in the cuticle. Actually, I got paint everywhere, including all over my clothing and up my nose. I had blue boogers for about a week.
My mom picked me up and, while I had bummy clothing to paint in, I didn’t have anything to change into (why didn’t I change back into my clothing from that day of school? No idea. Probably spilled something on myself or something). So I went back to my grade school to pick up text books for one of my brothers, covered in spray paint.
Everyone stared.
It was kind of awesome.
I would LOVE to see more photos of your new digs! Gonna share?
Hey Brigid! Yes, I will take more pics when it is more together, for sure. This bookcase is cockblocking my living room–I have cookbooks, records, and a giant velvet painting stacked and just waiting. Pics this weekend, I think. Finally I will not be out of town, sick, or otherwise busy.
Hall & Oates – just when I was beginning to think I was the only one. Hey hey I have just done a bit of decomoration too. Yuropean travels + sepia prints + 20″x24″ = Terrifical. Moar gold bookshelf, plz.
Hi Bugger. I am enjoying new decoromaramation.
Funny, I tend to spray everything silver. We’re like Atermis and Apollo, we are. With spray paint.
Random question: Isn’t it illegal to refuse to rent to people with kids? Either way, not at all surprising they’d be down with Franny and Strudel (and you and P., of course). You seem like a lovely family.
Why did the farmer start a rock n’ roll band?
Because he was tired of Haulin’ Oats (Hall & Oates).
Oh shezbot. Hur.
As far as the legality of denying children, yeah, I think that’s off, but here you are supposed to take applications in order and take the first one that comes back with clean credit. I think there’s probably a lot of wiggle room there, especially if you have a big cattle call/open house.
An excellent complement to a velvet painting or three. Reminds me of this bookshop http://www.sapphobooks.com.au/ . Although they haven’t caught on about the velvet art as yet.
The gold paint is awesome. That bookshelf is going to rock.
Recently moved from southern california to your neck o’ the woods. Went swimmin in Greenlake then locals told me NO! It’s DIRTY! Truth?
Just spray painted my craptastic bookshelves matte black. The paint, though dry, is coming off on everything so I had to put a cloth cover on surfaces For Important Things. Wrapped burlap strips around the cheesy chandelier and am hoping the pea plant will reach that far.
Oh, and about refusing to deny to rent or to sell to someone with children:
Yes, it is illegal unless the home/apartment/condo is located in a neighborhood that is designated as “Senior Living” (65+). Working in Real Estate, you get that pounded into your head a lot.
Hi Kristin. Well, I just walked around Greenlake this morning and my friend told me this appalling story about HER friend who swam there recently and a parasite went in through her TEAR DUCT. I teach my girls not to put any of their orifices in the water around here, just saying.
In her what?!?!? I am never opening my tear ducts while swimming again! o_O
Wow, sounds like the previous tenants were quite the characters, eh? I like the gold, I think it looks really nice.
Kristen.. Green lake is gross.
So gross in fact:
The Green Lake Itch: A relatively harmless swimmer’s affliction caused by a parasite carried by the many ducks, geese, and other water fowl who frequent the lake, exasperated by the fact that the lake has had no natural outflow since before 1920…
http://www.callihan.com/seattle/misc.htm
Cool, J.B., thanks. ADDITIONALLY, Green Lake stinks in the summer. For the above reason, of course. P.U.
Oh God. Visions of tear ducts and parasites danse macabre in my head… I am motivated to stay on the floaty thing from now on. Bummer in the summer.
Sammamish is parasite free, right? Size does matter I suppose.
Keep on dreamin, baby.
Man, in Chicago we can go swimming in the lake and only have to worry about e.Coli.
Anyone interested in doing a photo tour of our crapshacks? It could be a THING. A THEME. I could use creative advice about what to do with my kitchen, actually.