Family Fun for Jerks

Dear Busted-Ass Diary, early this morning we had a swell time out in the wilds of Issaquah picking wild chanterelles. We brought Daniel, who had never been mushroom picking and enjoyed himself very much. I like mushroom picking because all the climbing gives me the opportunity to work off the “librarian can,” which develops when you sit in front of the internets for most of the day clicking on shiny things. Also, you get mushrooms. Bonus! We are using them for our Fangsgiving dinner.

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“I’m sorry, Asshole, but the Princess is in another castle!”

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Franny was a great help. She loves trooping through the woods. I started her with a knife early so she will be at home on a ship when we sell her off to pirates.

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Lately she’s even learning how to convincingly say, “Gimmie all your monies, sucka!”. We’re raising the girls as chaotic evil streetfighters so we won’t have to save money for college.

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Here we are having a little lunch. Strudel has the dazed gaze of the recently-boobnibbled.

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Companion scores a good ‘shroom while Strudel helps herself to some forest-floor treats. Mmm, Pine Needle Snax. Now in “Moist!”

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Marching up the trail to where the mushrooms lurk. Daniel clings tenaciously to his coffee; I haven’t seen him up this early…ever.

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In the end, Strudel was defeated by the fun. Either that or pine needles contain tryptophan, just like turkey.

8 thoughts on “Family Fun for Jerks

  1. Aww bless! Your babies are just as cute as you are! You all should get matching crazy hats like ickle Strudels.

  2. I wholeheartedly agree. Looks like fun, and your family is gorgeous.

    If Franny can learn ropeclimbing you’ll get a better price. You could also substitute melba toast for hardtack, and get her started early on a pirate diet.

  3. If that is true, then I am seriously impressed that he even remembered to program in his usual brattiness.

    Hardtack! Ha!

  4. It was me. I think it was me. I had a dream about hunting for mushrooms in the forest, and there was something about knives and babies. Why doesn’t anyone believe me when I tell them I went foraging for mushrooms and it was “chanterelles”?

  5. “No really, I was wandering the forest looking for shrooms and all I remember was that there were babies and knives… or babies with knives…”

    “I think you FOUND the shrooms, dude….”

    Hehehe

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