Last night I dreamed about sex, all night as far as I know. BAD sex.
The crowning moment was when I was holding a baby and walked into some private area to change it. My ex-husband, Seattle Federline, followed me in.
“So…we could meet up and have sex, you know,” he said, craftily.
“We could…but I find I enjoy having orgasms during sex.” BURN!
There was also something involving turtle hats made from live turtles. I was also having an affair with a married man, whose wife came back. We were sitting in the living room and I was drinking tea with the cup rattling, just like in Columbo or something. And then he blurted out, “I’ve been having sex with her,” pointing at me. I put down the tea cup. “Well, that’s that then,” I said, and walked out of the apartment. I was bummed because I was friends with her, and knew I wouldn’t be after that. Stupid!
I am enjoying the fact that for all of my nighttime sexual shenanigans, I still turned my ex down. If I ever acquiesce, I will have to lobotomize myself. Coming soon to Youtube!
How satisfying that you managed to come up with a snappy retort in your dream! I never do that in mine.
Turning an ex down in a dream while simultaneously burning them about lack of orgasms is just awesome.
I think you are on to something with the turtle hats with live turtles. That’s worth following up on.
Please don’t make a hat out of my pet turtle.
I didn’t realize you had one. Now I will break into your condo.
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