Back By “Popular” “Demand”: Dear MF Diary!

Okay, so the demand was from one person. But I knew he wouldn’t let me rest until I made one.

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This weekend was highly domestical with a chance of naps. Last night we unleashed the naked feral dwarf by taking the bars off her little prison-home, turning it into a “junior” bed. Result: she was up at four and bouncing on our heads. We kept booting her back to her room, urging her to turn her lamp on and read a book. It’s going to take some training. A lot of training. And possibly a cattle prod or some kind of fence.


I finally put a pillow over my head, which Nietzsche saw as an invitation. She purred through the pillow, which put me right out. I told Companion and he was horrified, because purring has the opposite effect for him. He didn’t grow up with friendly cats, though. A purring cat is a sleeping pill for me.

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I have a little tomato-fondling yard pictsie. They are just starting to go red, which sucks, because it’s late in the season for that. The garden’s been much better this year. Just when we have achieved Total Yard Domination, our duplex neighbors (who don’t care about gardening) are moving out, and we may have to share with the next tenants. Dang.

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Then there was some cooking. I wish I could say these were all my cherry tomatoes, but we’re not quite there yet.

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I made this dessert I’ve been eyeballing for a while, which has one of those ridiculous names: Sugared Pluots on Anise-Scented Phyllo. First, let me say that I have been ignoring pluots for years, dismissing them as freakish frankenfruits, but let me now say they are crazy delicious. I’m sorry, frankenpluots. We’re friends now. You can live in countertop harmony with my pureblood peaches and plums.

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It’s pretty simple. You do layers of phyllo with butter, aniseseed, and sugar, and top it with the pluots. The result is like a crisp cookie, and it’s almost like candy. So good.

Before:
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After:
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You can even hold it up to the light and see through the golden phyllo with all the aniseseed embedded in the layers, like little bugs trapped in amber. I thought it was going to be whoa liquorice party, but the effect ends up being quite mild.

I am hoping to take this recipe with me into fall-time, and transfer it to apples. Do you know of a seed or herb that provides an interesting counterbalance to apples? I don’t want to go with the classic apple pie spices. Perhaps something that is used in Indian cuisine? I was toying with the idea of cumin in seed form. I’ll let you know if I come up with anything.

For years I was afraid of things like phyllo dough. I would watch my mom try to use it and swear, but when you get the hang of it, it’s actually pretty easy. When I was first married at eighteen, I decided that since I was on the drug money bankroll, I should at least make myself useful and try to cook. I bought Betty Crocker’s New Cookbook, 1996 edition, because it looked pretty basic. I also found myself enticed by the covers of Martha Stewart Living, which usually featured impossible-looking desserts with ingredient combinations I wouldn’t want to eat anyway, like lavender-horehound-pistachio pudding, with was fascinating, but also fairly wtf.

I bought a few issues anyway, and attempted a few recipes. This usually meant I had to go to the special store, with the fancy bulk bins, and it was guaranteed that I didn’t have most of the items on the ingredient list. Yesterday, when I set out to make dessert, I had everything on hand but pluots. And it all went pretty fast, with a minimum of stress and no hand-flapping.

Part of it’s been time, and practice, and choosing to eat good food whenever I can. And part of it was extreme post-grad school poverty, which caused me to cook six nights out of seven, taking breaks only for leftover lambloaf night.

My ex-husband, annoying git though he is, used to talk about being a practicing, skilled jazz musician in an interesting way. He talked about hitting that breakthrough point where you can improvise during solos and jam and mix the melody together in a working, beautiful way. I feel like I am starting to hit that breakthrough point with cooking. I still love to try recipes, and I love to follow them to the letter, but I can look at a recipe now and tell how long it will take and what it will taste like. I can also tell if it’s a little bit off, and needs more or less of something. I can build things from scratch and from memory. I still have failures, and I’m still learning, but what keeps me going is that I actually love it. I’m glad I found something I love so much.

I almost lost my Betty Crocker book in my divorce. At first I thought I didn’t need it, and that I had passed beyond that level anyway. But I started to think about it more and more, and then I started to dream about it. The pictures from the book of chicken piccata and perfect muffins would pass through my sleeping mind. It is a known fact that if I’ve reached the dreaming about it stage it has become Serious Business.

“Can I have it back?” I asked him. He was never much of a cook.

“I don’t know,” he said. “I really like the pancake recipe.”

“I’ll trade you for another, much nicer cookbook?”

“Mmm…okay. Let me write down the pancake recipe.”

So it’s back on my shelf, and admittedly I hardly ever use it. But if I want some old recipe I love, or can’t remember how long to steam corn-on-the-cob, there it is, crazy fast. Forget the Joy–I recommend Betty for truly brand-new cooks. And there was something I forgot. Of course it is full of my notes, so I know exactly how much peppermint extract to add to ice cream, and the recipe card for Southwestern Quiche from the bed and breakfast where I got knocked up with Franny, carefully transcribed by the owner in a slanting scrawly hand and taped into the front part of the section on eggs. I don’t dream about it anymore.

It nice to know that you can set out without any intentions, and become good at something just by living your life.

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“MOAR tea, please!”

I have never seen a kid that I have to spend so much time hiding things from and keeping things up from. I made myself a screwdriver the other night and she found the shot glass on the counter and was licking the leftover vodka drops out of it. Whippet tells me to serve her some black coffee, that that will “cure” her. I don’t think so.

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Cookie-cutter pancakes are cute. By the time he made these, I was too full of regular ones to eat them. What is funny is someone lovingly making you heart-shaped pancakes and then swearing up a storm when you are too full to eat them. “Goddamnit, woman. Eat your heart pancakes!”

In Other News

I realize I haven’t said word one about the KOMO-4 blogger meetup the other day. Two things happened which stand out in my mind. The subject of Blogher and its recent conference came up at my instigation, while I was standing in a group of men. Rather than ask me what it was like or anything else, they immediately jumped off and began arguing about exactly how important it was, and how big it was, and how it compared to YearlyKos. Instead of talking to me about it. Who had just been there. Unsurprising lulz. Also, I met some people from the Seattle Metblog team, and tried to talk coherently about what it means to be a Seattle native, modern Swedish films, and old friends. I like those people, they are A-OK. And I saw an old blog acquaintance who I’ll bet I haven’t seen in person since Seablog in ’02. Time, she is flying.

21 thoughts on “Back By “Popular” “Demand”: Dear MF Diary!

  1. You can’t go wrong with cheese for apples, though it’s not a spice, and I dunno how well it would do with phyllo. And rosemary is an odd, but satisfying apple spice. One of my fall cravings is squash, onions, garlic, apples, potatoes and sausage all chopped up, tossed in EVOOLLLLLL, rosemary, salt and pepper and baked in a 400 oven til crispy.

  2. When I read about trying the dessert recipe with apples and another seed, I instantly thought of an episode of Good Eats where Alton Brown dipped a slice of apple into a little bowl of seeds and ate it. I think the seeds were coriander, but they may have been cumin, I always confuse the two. All I know is that one of those goes really well with apples. Let us know what you come up with!

  3. Mmm, apples. I like mint and apple together–yum. I also made Martha’s apple, red onion, caraway tart (with bleu cheese). My dad hated it, but the rest of the family loved it, including me. You say wtf, I saw awesome.

  4. Try apples with fennel seeds, you can even get tiny candy coated fennel seeds in the Indian grocery, but be careful, they are addictive!

  5. Okay, you scared me with that comment about your ex-husband and his jazz ambitions, because you made it sound like he wanted to be Feckless.

    Excuse me while I run around screaming for half an hour or so.

    Also, on the subject of recipes, the best thing I ever did was buy a nice quality hard bound blank book for writing down recipes people give me, or sticking in ones that I cut out from places.

  6. Oh, but he does want to be like FH. Last time I talked to him, he was “totally cutting an album.”

  7. I wonder if a light dose of black pepper would be good with apples? Pepper tastes entirely different in sweets than in savory. Probably either be wonderful, or be totally butt flavored. Can’t see that flavor being middle-of-the-road.

  8. Looking at my Indian cookbook now… suggest cardamom, sliced (flaked) almonds, golden raisins and pistachios. mmmmmmm that makes me think of Indian rice pudding. I just made extra rice so maybe I’ll go off and make it now.

    Love the train of thought about acquiring cookery expertise. Maybe someday you’ll have your own cooking tv show! If Katie Brown can have her own show, come on. Your show would kick her show’s ass.

  9. I bet cardamom would be fantastic in that recipe! I was trying to think of something myself, but now that that was mentioned and you don’t want to use any pieish spices like nutmeg (cuz it’s good!) I can’t stop thinking about cardamom! It looks delish and I’ve never had Pluots.

  10. Oh hey! Speaking of old cookbooks, I re-discovered my first “adult” cookbook — the Better Homes & Gardens New Cook Book circa 1982. It was buried in a box of crap I left at my dad’s house 8 or 12 years ago. At first glance I thought, “I’m beyond this” and wasn’t going to haul it back to NY. But then I noticed the veritable treasure trove of classic salad and salad dressing recipes!

    Cannot wait to make Green Goddess Dressing, Sausage Supper Salad, and/or the 24-Hour Vegetable Salad.

    You know — with Amy Sedaris leading the charge, I predict Retro Food is going to be all the rage. Before you know it, all your friends are going to start bringing Tomato Aspics to your potlucks.

  11. can i come to your house and, like, live with you (and your cookin’) and shit?

    would you stroke my hair ever-so-gently and tell me i’m a good girl, that i’m pretty?

    okay, i just made *myself* uncomfortable there.

    umm, HAI!

  12. Also, do not feel badly re:tomatoes unripe. Mine aren’t even close to pink yet, and it’s motherluvvin’ August. In Missouri. Where crops ripen out of spite. It was a hundred degrees today. For the third day in a row. I just checked. Still green.

    Bastids.

  13. I have a Better Homes & Gardens cook book. If my husband and I ever get divorced and he attempts to take it, I will beat him down. :) I think I’m going to plant some tomatoes next year.

  14. “a minimum of stress and no hand-flapping”

    That is how I attempt to live my life. :)

    I second the vote for ginger. And maybe a nice brushing of rum.

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