I guess that’s right. What’s the female equivalent of risky bidness? I dunno.
My point is I am HOME ALONE this weekend! Woo! I do have a friend coming over on Saturday night to drink the wines with me, and I will make copious plans to do cool girly things or cool alone things, but I will probably just fall asleep and wake up with the imprint of the corner of whatever book I’m reading on my cheek. Drooling on library books, that’s what I call living.
Although it can be fun to sleep with library books sometimes, because they often smell so weird. It’s your own personal bed adventure that will probably not result in an STD. Who knows what kind of dreams you will have if you sleep with the one that smells like patchouli, or the one that smells like chili powder, or both of them at once.
I especially enjoy reading cookbooks from the library in bed. You’re flipping through and all of the sudden a flat piece of spaghetti jumps out. Foreign pasta snake! in your bed. I have to say the library cookbook that made me the most furious was a Chinese cookbook, I think from Wallingford branch. It had all these notations in it about nutrition, most of them verifiably wrong. They were all written in this precise, minuscule block writing. I could hear it hissing at me off the page. There was a particularly long screed about the dangers of incorporating the amount of salt that the “Orientals” like to consume could have disastrous results when combined with the typical American diet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Almost every recipe was marked with a scold of some sort: “CUT SALT IN HALF!” or “THESE MUSHROOMS HAVE NO NUTRITIONAL VALUE!!” Calm down, dude. Live a little.
So, yeah. Home alone! Canoodling with library books. If it got more exciting, my head might explode.
Sleeping with books is the ultimate S&M relationship – you get all comfy and snugged-up and then WHAM! PAPER CUT! or ZOW! POINTY BOOK CORNER IN CORNEA! and then they lull you back into tranquility with some heartwarming story about a boy and his dog.
I confess I loled.
I love home alone time.
I don’t even have kids, and I love and covet it.
I love alone time after 25 yrs of never-alone time. When the youngest is gone overnight I skip naked through the house. I take a bath with the door open. I don’t COOK. And yes, sadly my only bed partner is also a book. Usually something inane so I won’t feel guilty when I fall asleep on it at 8pm after such a hedonistic filled evening.
You know, someone just asked me if there was a lesbian subtext to that thing I did for you, and now we get this whole “fantasize erotically about me” post. Are you trying to turn me gay?
YES
I think I’m falling in love with the library…just moved to Seattle and my local branch is good, but the main one is like the castle I never knew I wanted. Huge, but warm. Infinitely browsable. I could totally lose myself in there before taking some books home to bed…if I can tear myself away.
Wow, that’s interesting. I kind of miss ye olde grubby library. I do enjoy that red hallway on the fourth floor or wherever.
What I REALLY miss is the downtown Phoenix library, but that doesn’t have much to do with Seattle at all, really. Hee.
I remember getting a book from the library. I think it was a dr suess… called the mice, the king, and the cheese… and it SMELLED LIKE CHEESE! It WAS pretty old.
Hmm, I wonder if the gates library still has that book. I need to go and check. Of course, I’m weird and still look through the childrens section. :P
I never thought of checking out COOKBOOKS from the library. I love cookbooks. Now I must go and get some. Damn you, Assy!
Also, thinking about you wearing pants (meaning underpants) and sunglasses is kinda hot. :3
That sounds like my idea of heaven.
I gotta say, I like the Vancouver main library way better than the Seattle one. Their reserve policies are teh suck, though (only 50 free reserves a year). I’m an employee and get unlimited holds so it doesn’t affect me, but I hate breaking the news to patrons and having them say “Oh, well, I guess I don’t need that book after all.”
A friend of mine totally made my day a while ago. I called her and she answered the phone with “guess what? I’m naked!” It gave me the giggles. :D
I checked out a book on the holocaust from the library a few years ago. It turned out to be a holocaust denial book, to my horror. I wound up annotating the book (in pencil) with references to other, more reputable books.